Personality Disorders Community

BPD, Alcohol and Rage

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QUESTION:

My loved one who was on a borderline cocktail, went off the Meds, got very paranoid, started drinking a quart a day, quit drinking, was even more paranoid, then went into a rage and told me he was going to kill a man. Started drinking again, also taking some of the Meds again, but was still talking about killing others. Is this BPD typical behavior [rage] or ASP as well [just guess, please] then began to wave a gun around with me in the room, put the gun in his mouth!!! I got out of there, believe me!! The next morning, he was still talking about killing. It was time for his appointment with the psychiatrist at the local mental health facility, he told me his plan was [and asked me to drive him there] to put the gun to his head while in her office [with me there] and blow his brains out. I had him committed, but in stead of taking him before the judge to honor an involuntary commitment, they put him in detox, and are letting him out after 4 days!!! I am implementing a no contact rule, because I am afraid of him. I want to be supportive, and be safe myself. Can you please tell me if this is "typical" of male borderlines, should I take the threats of homicide/suicide seriously and why would he go off medicine when his life had improved so much in the last two years? He's 54 years old, I give up, when I suggest something, he ignores my suggestion, what else can I do? Should I fear for my safety or was this just to manipulate me.
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DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

It's not typical, but it is indeed a possible BPD behavior. When dysphoric the individual perceives things as a cornered animal does. Paranoia and emotional pain are impressive. When a person is having an epileptic fit in the brain's rage areas combined with paranoia and psychosis, homicidal and/or suicidal thoughts can easily result. Many shootings reported in the press are due to this combination.

No one really wants to die, but when the pain is overwhelming, you perceive that you're worthless, and you perceive that no hope exists, suicide seems a reasonable option. It's not the right thing to do, but it seems that way. It's an illusion.

The front cover of my first book may be of help to you. Borderlines generally respond to seeing it, although there are no guarantees. He desperately wants to feel better, but doesn't believe it's possible.

You may have to move on if he refuses to get help. He is very treatable, but has to be willing to get help.

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