Attention Deficit Disorder (No-BPD)

Written by Dr. Leland Heller

QUESTION:

I have an 11 year old son. From birth, he was 'different'. Totally impervious to danger, impulsive...traditional discipline was out the window with HIM! I called his personality the "too syndrome" too impulsive, too fast, too aggressive, too intolerant, too fill in the blank. His level of tolerance for frustrations was zero. Yet, he could do the most complicated things at early ages, such as at 3, could follow a schematic and construct intricate speedways for hotwheels and at 7, could beat the pants off any adult playing chess. He had to be told one thousand times before he remembered what it was he was supposed to be doing. I was the only one who could keep him under control.

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That is because I saw myself over and over and over in this child and knew what it took to direct him properly. The rejections and humiliations he suffered as a result of his ADHD were enormous as have been mine. He, like I, became a scapegoat for anyone who pushed his ever so visible buttons! I had him tested at 3 for ADD and was told he was a discipline problem (thank God, my other two children were 21 and 18 at the time or my parenting would have been undermined). At 5, tested again, no diagnosis. Of course! He could concentrate, one on one. Put him (or me) in a crowd and all control was lost. Finally, after horrible public school experience, then expulsion from private school (all the time seeing a counselor) he was diagnosed properly and Adderall was prescribed. The child is a new person.

Actually, I think the numerous positive aspects to his personality are no longer overshadowed by the ADHD. While researching and seeking a direction for him when his depression (after experiencing the violent emotional disruption caused by expulsion) led him to want to be in Heaven with God and Jesus (sob for the pain of this child) I kept seeing not only him, but MYSELF in the ADHD pages. Seeing the 'miracle' of Adderall in him, I sought his psychiatrists help for me. She referred me to an associate. I lobbied for 'testing' for ADHD. HE said I was depressed (duh) and prescribed Wellbutrin. No affect at all. Follow-up visit, I lobbied again and asked him to rethink his diagnosis. He prescribed Lamictil. Frankly, the rx frightened me as I could find nothing about it except relating to epilepsy which I do not have. Reading your website pages, leads me to believe that he feels that I have BPD.

I do have depression, but not paranoia, mood swings, or self destructive tendencies. I have low levels of tolerance for frustration! I have rigidly ordered my life so that I can function (am 50 and experience as taught me SOME things!). I wander in important meetings, have to read educational material over and over and over because I wander through that, but can sit and computer (hyperfocused) for endless hours at home and get three days work done in 8 hours. (I draw an analogy to a child's zoning during Nintendo). Right now, I feel like a guinea pig and just want to find someone to help me.

I would like (even at this advanced maternal age!) to find some peace and logic to my existence and am so frustrated seeing the light at the end of the tunnel through my son's successful experience now, but not being able to reach it! I don't want to continue to experiment with these drugs that are doing me no good. Help!

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

First and foremost you need your diagnoses made. Medications treat diagnoses! ADD is a genetic phenomenon, and I firmly believe it is not a disease.

I really believe you'll be very relieved by what you read in my new book "Biological Unhappiness." It will give you a great many answers for you and your son - who may also be depressed. I am amazed and horrified at the lack of knowledge the public, patients, and mental health practitioners have regarding psychiatric diagnoses. You must be your advocate and your son's advocate. The more you learn the better.

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