Protecting Your Children From Sexual Predators - Protecting Your Children From Sexual Predators Conference

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

David: You talked about the behavior signs which might indicate abuse. How does a parent actually determine if their child has been abused?

Debbie: Parents need to seek professional help if you suspect something is going on. Don't try to diagnose or confirm the problem yourself.

David: What are the steps involved in reporting abuse?

Debbie: It is important to know that most cases of child molestation do not happen right away. There is a period of courtship, or grooming, that occurs in order to lower the inhibitions of the child. Call your local law enforcement agency or child protective services. If your child has disclosed abuse, don't question him or her further. Let the local law enforcement agency handle the questioning. They are the experts, let them do their job. Ask the police department if they are going to videotape the interview with the child. Videotaping often cuts down request for further interviews. Write down all the info the child says to you, or to others, and anything else that is relevant. Keep a diary of events including details that occur with the police and protective services and/or district attorney. Call victim services and see what is available. You can get their number through the district attorney's office.

David: Here's the link to Debbie Mahoney's book: "Innocence Lost" and to her site, SOC-UM, which is a site inside the HealthyPlace.com Abuse Issues Community.

Here's an audience question, Debbie:

guardian: I know, for myself, that when I found out about my daughter's abuse, I was stunned. Now, we are going to court in two weeks and it is frightening. Was it frightening for you?

The hard part is to go through what she is going to have to face in court. I don't think I can stay in the room when she testifies. Is that wrong of me? We want to do something so that he is not working in the schools around children.

Debbie: My heart goes out to you. You're daughter may not want you there when she testifies. But if she wants you there, you should be there no matter how difficult it is. It is perfectly normal that you feel that way, guardian.

David: Was your son's perpetrator prosecuted?

Debbie: Yes. He was prosecuted two times. He was prosecuted in 1990 and received a 6 year sentence. He spent 2 1/2 in prison and got out. He had a technical violation and went back in. But while he was out, the police found the largest stash of child pornography in the Bay area in his storage facility under a false name he used. He's now sitting in federal prison.

David: Here are a few audience comments:

Eagle: Just an excuse. I am an abuse survivor and cannot see how a survivor can abuse another kid.

Debbie: The majority of children who are abused do not abuse when they are adults.

shycat: But my brother molested me when we were both young.

Cindee12345: I have a sibling that is currently in counseling. She has told me that she was sexually abused by her father and brothers. She also told me that the sexual abuse is still going on and that my sons were sexually abused by her brothers. If my sister says she has proof that the sexual abuse is still going on, I believe it. So I contacted social service and sheriff. They both told me to trust my sons.

David: What was it like for you, as a parent, to have to go through the investigation process and then into the courtroom?

Debbie: I wanted to do everything I could do to help the law enforcement to ensure that this person could not harm another child, which is why I have fought so hard for registering sex offenders. Going to the courtroom was scary but the prosecution was a great validation for my son and these children need to know that what happened to them is not their fault.

David: Was it a difficult time for you emotionally, or were you so angry and so involved in the prosecution of the offender that helped you get through it emotionally?

Debbie: I think for the first 2 years after I found out about the abuse I was in a daze. I was so involved in law enforcement and finding info about child molesters. I was angry but there is no longer any anger.

David: Debbie, what is it like to be a victim of child abuse?

Debbie: It is so devastating that you don't want to see any other child go through what my son when through.

David: Besides real world sexual predators, which are difficult enough to deal with, we now have people on the internet who disguise themselves as nice people who prey on children. What can parents do to protect their children from these people?

Debbie: Make sure the computer is placed in an area that allows to be monitored by the parents, such as the family room. Prior to allowing children net access, sit down with your child and explain to them that people are not necessarily who they claim to be. Tell your children never to receive files or pictures. Set a time limit for using the net. Tell your child never to meet a person they met online, in real life. Parents can also check the cache and the history to find out what their children are accessing.

David: There's also software available that allows parents to set limits on where their children can go on the net.

Once again, for our audience information, here is the link to the SOC-UM's webpage.That stands for Safeguarding our Children - United Mothers. Debbie is the founder and president. And here's the link to Debbie Mahoney's book: "Innocence Lost."

We appreciate you coming tonight Debbie and sharing this important information with us.

Debbie: Thank you very much for having me. The most important thing we can do is protect our children.

David: And thank you to the audience for coming and participating. I hope you found it helpful. Good night everyone.

Debbie: Good Night

Disclaimer: Please note that HealthyPlace.com is NOT recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor and/or therapist BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment or lifestyle.

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