Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can Do - Helping Children Exposed to Violence or Disaster

Written by NIMH

• If children have trouble sleeping:
  • Give them extra attention
  • Let them sleep with a light on
  • Let them sleep in your room (for a short time)
• Try to keep normal routines (such routines may not be normal for some children):
  • Bed-time stories
  • Eating dinner together
  • Watching TV together
  • Reading books, exercising, playing games
• If you can't keep normal routines, make new ones together
• Help children feel in control:
  • Let them choose meals, if possible

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  • Let them pick out clothes, if possible
  • Let them make some decisions for themselves, when possible.

Help for all people in the First Days and Weeks

Key steps after a disaster can help adults cope. Adults can then provide better care for children. Create an environment of safety. Be calm. Be hopeful. Be friendly, even if people are difficult. Connect to others. Listen to their stories. But, listen only if they want to share. Encourage respect for adult decision-making.

In general help people:

• Get food
• Get a safe place to live
• Get help from a doctor or nurse if hurt
• Contact loved ones or friends
• Keep children with parents or relatives
• Become aware of available help
• Become aware of where to get help
• Understand what happened
• Understand what is being done
• Move towards meeting their own needs

Avoid certain things:

• Don't force people to tell their stories
• Don't probe for personal details.
• Do not Say:
  • "Everything will be OK."
  • "At least you survived."
  • What you think people should feel
  • How people should have acted
  • People suffered for personal behaviors or beliefs
  • Negative things about available help
• Don't make promises that you can't keep
  • (Ex: "You will go home soon.")

How Children React to Trauma

Children's reactions to trauma can be immediate. Reactions may also appear much later. Reactions differ in severity. They also cover a range of behaviors. People from different cultures may have their own ways of reacting. Other reactions vary according to age.

One common response is loss of trust. Another is fear of the event reoccurring. Some children are more vulnerable to trauma's effects. Children with existing mental health problems may be more affected. Children who have experienced other traumatic events may be more affected.