Parenting 101 - Internet Parent Education Workshop

Written by Robert Myers, PhD

Privileges To Spend Chips For

Practice giving and receiving chips before starting the program. The practice should be based on the rules for parent and children provided below:

Rules for Parents When Giving Chips

Be near your child and able to touch him (not 20 feet or two rooms away).

Look at your child and smile.

Use a pleasant voice tone.

Make sure your child is facing you and looking at you.

Praise your child "Hey that's great. You're really doing a nice job. That's really helping me." Reward you child with chips "Here's 2 chips for doing a great job."

Describe the appropriate behavior for your child so he know exactly what behavior he is being praised and rewarded for.

Hug your child occasionally or use some other form of positive touch.

Have your child acknowledge you such as, "Thanks Mom" or "O.K."

Rules for Parents When Taking Away Chips

Be near you child and able to touch him.

Look at your child and smile.

Use a pleasant voice tone.

Make sure your child is facing you and looking at you.

Explain what was inappropriate such as "Remember you are not allowed to run in the house because it is not safe." "You need to learn not to yell and scream so we can enjoy being together at home."

Be sympathetic. "I know it's hard to lose chips but that's the rule."

Give your child the chip fine.

Make sure your child gets the chip appropriately.

Prompting the appropriate responses will sometimes be necessary. For example, "Come on, give me a smile--That's right."

If a chip loss is taken very well by your child, it is a good idea to give him back a chip or two.

If your child is too mad or upset to give you the chips, don't force the issue. Place your child in time out (to cool off) and then get the chips.

Rules For Children When Getting Chips

You should be facing your parents, looking at them and smiling.

You should acknowledge the chips by saying "O.K.," "Thanks," or something else pleasant.

The chips should be put in a specified container. (Any chips left lying around are lost.)

You should face your parents, look at them and smile (not frown.)

You should acknowledge the chip loss with "O.K." or "All right," "I'll get the chips," etc. (You must keep looking at them and be pleasant).

You should give the chips to your parents pleasantly

Post the list of behaviors and chips earned in a convenient place.

Let your child decorate a paper cup in which to keep their chips. Place the "bank's" chips is a jar or bowl and put it in a place that is out of reach of children.

Start using the program. Feel free to modify the program at any time by holding a meeting. Sometimes point values need to be raised or lowered to achieve a goal. You may add or remove items from the list as well.

After about 6 weeks, you may be able to start short trials off the system. Say, "Today we are going to try not using the chip system. If things go well we will try it again the next day." If the trial is successful continue for about a week. If things continue to go well, hold a meeting and celebrate all that you and your child have both gained from the system. If your child is not ready, continue with the program.

Note: If your child runs out of chips, have a list of extra chores they can do to earn chips so that they remain on the system.

next: How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!