It is probably safe to say that every child has fears in varying degrees. Some are the normal fears of childhood while others are not. It is the role of the parent to reassure a frightened youngster. The ability to do this well can result in the child's feeling secure and safe in his present and later life.

A certain amount of fear is healthy and understandable. It keeps us and our children out of harm's way. We teach our children to fear running into a busy street, accepting candy from strangers, swallowing unidentified substances from the medicine cabinet, et cetera. In such cases, we are teaching our children to fear the results. We are, in essence, teaching them caution which is quite a different matter from dealing with a youngster who is responding to an imaginary rather than a real danger. Such a child evidencing anxiety when there doesn't seem to be anything specific to be anxious about, whose fear is so great, it borders on becoming a phobia.

In a survey a number of years ago, the fifteen most common human fears were identified, some of which relate to children's fears. They are:

• Darkness
• Public speaking
• Being alone
• Dentists
• Angry people
• Hospitals (blood)
• Rejection
• Spiders
• Disapproval
• Taking tests
• Failure
• Deformed people
• Making Mistakes
• Police
• Dogs

Many of these fears, if not recognized and treated properly in children, can develop into more serious phobias In adult life.

Fear of the Dark

Generally fear of the dark occurs when the parents insist that the child stay in a totally darkened room at bedtime or when the child wakes up in the middle of the night. Some children are so terrified by the dark that their heartbeats actually increase. Parents need to recognize the fact that the room looks totally different to the child when the lights are out and should take steps to reassure the youngster even if the fear seems completely irrational to the parents.

1. Use a night light but experiment with its placement to be sure that it does not create all sorts of frightening shadows.
2. After the light has been turned out. Stay in the room for a few minutes and talk about how different things look. A curtain blowing in the breeze looks very different at night than it does during the daytime.
3. Leave the door to the child's room slightly open and tell him that you will not be far away.
4. If the child awakens in the middle of the night, he should not be invited into your bed or you risk starting a habit that is difficult to break. Instead, comfort him in his own room and tell him that you are proud of him for being grown up enough to sleep in a room by himself.
5. Remain consistent in your approach to his behavior.

Andyroo's Dream Tapes, Vol.1 We have found this tape to be very useful in helping young children get to sleep.

Fear of Animals

While the fear of animals affects almost all children, it happily seems to decrease as the child gets older. In the intervening years. A number of approaches can be made to lessen the child's fears.

1. Don't transmit your own fear. Study and then teach the youngster the proper behavior around animals. (For example, always approach a dog from the front where it can see and sniff your hand.)
2. Identify the child's fear for him. For example, "Dogs can be scary, but this one lives right next door, and he wants to be your friend."
3. Consider having a pet in the family and choose one that is smaller than the child. (They can grow together.) Then let him help with feeding and caring for the animal.
4. Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to tease or mistreat an animal. This can provoke an attack or a bite, and then it will doubtless be a considerable time before the youngster's fears can be fully overcome.
5. Don't force the child to pet an animal. Let him do it in his own good time. Don't encourage hand-feeding animals whose bite may be bigger than the portion offered.