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A child's temperament determines the adult's perception of that child.
If a child makes it easy on the parent (the parent can meet the child's needs and feel successful, parent gets smiles and positive feedback, discipline works), the parents feel good about themselves and believe the child to be "easy."
When a child is hard to take care of, needs are difficult to determine, responses are negative, nothing seems to work, and the problems are perceived by others to be the parents' fault, the child is "difficult." Every child has one perspective, ...his own. His/her intrepretation of the world is through that perspective.
Clusters of Traits
Some children have no specific grouping of traits. Others fall within some general categories.
The Easy Child: (40%)
- moderate activity level
- regular
- adaptable
- approach-oriented
- positive mood
Given these traits, who couldn't be a good parent? Fortunately, most children are not that difficult to parent. For these situations, good enough parenting will work. When the child is adaptable, a parent's techniques will work because the child adapts.
Slow to warm up: (15%)
There are special parenting skills that will make life better for these kids.
Difficult child: (10%)
A child with these traits requires more than good enough parenting. These kids really are difficult to parent. It is important to note that any one of these difficult traits can cause enormous problems by itself. All the traits combined describe 10% of the children, but many kids have one or a few of these traits that make daily life difficult. Special parenting skills can make a tremendous difference in the child's behavior and sense of psychological survival. Any parent who is living with such a child should get a complete evaluation for the child by an experienced psychiatrist. Many neurological disorders can cause these very symptoms and the symptoms exist from birth. Treatment is available.
See also: Temperament and Special Needs
next: Goodness of Fit: How Temperament Determines Need
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