First rule: You are not being called to the principal's office.

Parent/teacher conferences will be coming up soon. These conferences are an important part of our children's education. Unfortunately, many parents feel intimidated by these meetings. If you are nervous about such a conference, remember that you are no longer in school and your are not being called in to the principal's office.

Second Rule: You are your child's best advocate.

You are now a parent of a child and you are a partner with your child's teachers. Good teachers welcome a parent's interest and support because no one knows a child like his parents do.

Third Rule: Go with a purpose.

To get the most out of the conference, follow this checklist. If necessary, keep it with you during the meeting.

Preparing for the Conference

Before the conference, look over the school work your child has brought home. Take examples with you. Be prepared to question any concern with the teacher. Look for the following:

1. ___work completion
2. ___changes in grades
3. ___changes in skills
4. ___changes in neatness
5. ___teacher's comments
6. ___what is being tested

Be prepared to express any concerns with the teacher. Talk to your child about school. Ask about:

1. ___subjects liked most, least, and why
2. ___subjects that are easy/difficult, and why
3. ___getting along with teachers
4. ___getting along with classmates.

You will want to check your child's perceptions with the teacher. Remember, your child sees things from his/her unique perspective.

Ask yourself:

1. ___do I talk with the child about school?
2. ___do I set aside a time for homework?
3. ___do I show interest in the child's work other than during problem times?

1. ___Is my child working below, on, or above grade level?
2. ___What are the child's strengths, weaknesses, and special talents?
3. ___Is homework turned in on time?
4. ___Is classwork completed in class and if not, why?
5. ___Does my child ask questions when in doubt?
6. ___Does my child listen to directions?
7. ___How does my child do in test situations?
8. ___How does my child handle stressful situations?
9. ___Does my child seem to need more attention than other children the same age?
10. ___How much time should my child be spending on homework each night?
11. ___Are outside activities interfering with schoolwork?
12. ___Does my child seem to be getting enough sleep each night?
13. ___Has there been a change in the child's behavior, change in friends, or a change in work habits?
14. ___Is a change needed in the child's behavior, choice of friends, or work habits?

1. ___Is remedial work advised?
2. ___Does the child need help from parents? If so, how do we help?
3. ___Does the child need special guidance?
4. ___Do study habits need improving? Which ones and how?

Teachers live with educational jargon. If your child's teacher uses a word or initials for a term with which you are not familiar, stop the teacher immediately and say,

It is your responsibility to make certain that you understand what the teacher is saying. Sometimes professionals forget that their everyday terms and phrases are Greek to people outside the profession. Teachers, however, are good at explaining what things mean -- if you ask!

1. ___If the child needs to improve work or attitude, what can be done?
2. ___How can I work with my child without exerting too much pressure?
3. ___How can I help you?

1. What the teacher's goals are for your child.
2. If you are expected to help with the goal.
3. What system will be used for communicating progress (phone calls, notes?)

next: When a Child Has Too Much Trouble Learning, Find Out Why