Twenty-one Months

What to expect:

Can handle a cup well but spills all the time. Wants to push the stroller. Likes to run around without shoes or clothes. Can indicate the child's needs. the child's behavior starts to get worse. Demands things, NOW! Biting can be a problem.

Needs: Give more love during bratty stages.

Discipline: Most effective discipline is separation. See Successful Time-outs

Remove the child from a bad situation or let the child sit on a time-out chair (four minutes) when the child is naughty. When the child falls apart, put the child to bed.

Special situation: Fussy child, won't eat, sleep, or play?

Take the child's temperature. The child is probably sick.

Two

What to expect:

Likes to remove everything from drawers and cupboards. Can hold a glass with one hand but still has difficulty with a spoon. Is not interested in eating and becomes a poor eater. Dawdles, plays and refuses to eat at meal times. Can help in getting dressed by putting arms and legs in the holes. Asks "What's that?", refers to himself by name, and LOVES to say "no". Likes to be outdoors and makes a short walk last a long time. Picks up everything the child sees. Under pressure, runs from parents. May be ready to use a toilet but will not have adequate control for another year. Out-of-control temper tantrums when frustrated or tired -- very classic behavior. Calls parents back after put to bed. Needs bedtime rituals in order to go to bed. Makes rituals out of everything. Wants to make the child's own decisions.

Needs: Parents have to be smarter than the two year old, not tougher or more out of control than the child is.

Child needs limited choices: Either.. or. Don't ask the child if the child wants to do what the child has to do. Teach the child real names for all the child's body parts.

Discipline:

• Understand things from the child's viewpoint then help the child adapt to requirements.
• Separation (Time out) is the best tool.
• Work on one thing at a time.
• Don't act like your two year old.

Parents' Motto: They won't be like this forever.

Two and a Half

What to expect: This is THE Age of Conflict.

• Child is never sure whether the child wants to be independent and separate ("Me do it", "myself,""no,no, no")
• or dependent and treated like a baby ("Hold me", "carry me", "help me").
• Parents never know what to expect.
• Temper tantrums increase and are used for attention and control.
• Child wants the same foods all the time, refuses any change, says "no" even when the child means "yes"
• Starts to stutter or stammer
• Masturbates frequently
• Wants to be treated like a baby when the child gets tired.

the child is just starting to learn the rules and tells himself "no, no" while breaking them.

Needed: Patient, kind, firm parents.

Discipline:

• Easy time to over-use spanking but it will not help; the child's bad behavior will get worse.
• Instead of spanking all the time, learn to ignore attention-getting misbehavior when possible.
• Take over for the child when necessary.
• Separation is useful for both child and parent. See Time-outs.
• Avoid useless power struggles.
• Parents need time-off everyday to relax and regain their patience.
• When things get too crazy, parents need to spend some time alone in the bathroom in order to calm down before dealing with their 2 1/2.

Parents' Motto: This too shall pass.