How Kids Grow: Defining Normal Behavior - Kids Development

Written by Elaine M. Gibson

Eleven - Twelve

What to expect: Peer pressure is intense.

• Want guidance from parents but not lectures.
• Body changes cause embarrassment and self-consciousness.
• Girls' behavior becomes eradict as hormonal influences take over.
• Develop strong friendships.
• Often embarrassed to be seen in public with parents.
• They begin to understand how others feel.
• Want to make their own decisions, choose their own friends.

Needs:

• Listen to this child; teach by example - not lectures.
• Build a strong relationship based on respect and caring. Spend time together.
• Don't try to control the pre-teen. Control the consequences.
• Make expectations very clear before a situation arises, not after.
• Give them a major responsibility for some part of family life. Make them feel useful and necessary. Ignore their complaining about chores.
• Plain, matter of fact talk about sexuality, drugs, the future. Use every opportunity that comes up. Ask the questions; don't wait for them to ask you.

Discipline:

• Give responsibility and let the child learn from consequences.
• Don't argue.
• Listen to the child's feelings to keep the lines of communication open.
• Make as few rules as possible and enforce them consistently.