How Kids Grow: Defining Normal Behavior - Defining Normal Kids Behavior

Written by Elaine M. Gibson

Three

What to expect: Likes to do things by himself.

• Can unbutton and unzip the child's own clothes.
• Does not know the front from the back or which shoe fits which foot and the child doesn't care.
• Favorite expression is "All by myself" but cries easily when the child can't do it.
• He wants to help parents do things.
• Refuses to hold parent's hand even though the child must.
• Wants to walk in stores instead of riding in stroller.
• Develops sudden fears and phobias.
  

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• Resists taking naps but needs one.
• Can control bladder and bowel functions, but still has accidents.
• By 3 and 1/2, child whines all the time.
• May stammer and stutter when upset or excited.
• Nose picking, fingernail biting, and tumbsucking reach a peak.
• Child also learns to spit.
• Favorite lines are "Don't look," "Don't laugh", "Don't talk" which the child uses on parents.
• Prime time for imaginary friends.

Needs:

• Patience.
• Time to grow. Remember, a 3 year old is a baby that looks like a child. Don't force threes to be bigger than they can be at the moment.
• An enabling environment.

Discipline: This child wants to be good. Help him.

• Tell the child what you expect and why before the child asks and before the child misbehaves.
• Needs honesty from parents.
• If the child's mistakes are treated like crimes, child will develop emotional problems.
• Treat accidents like learning experiences.
• Show the child how to make amends.

Four

What to expect: The "Out of Bounds" 4 is exuberant and rebellious.

• the child talks well and thinks the child is a big shot.
• Fours tell outrageous lies and are very stubborn.
• They talk all the time and mix reality and fantasy.
• They ask "why" in order to argue.
• They are bossy and defiant, "I won't".
• They refuse to nap but will fall asleep at 5:30 and wake up ready to stay up all night.
• They think up all sorts of ways to avoid getting in bed.
• At night, they are likely to have bad dreams.
• They can dress and undress themselves with little assistance.
• They eat too fast or not at all.
• They can now wash hands and face and brush teeth without assistance if they have been trained.
• They run ahead of adults and refuse to hold hands.
• Fours play feelies with other children and need honest information about bodies and babies.
• A fussy four needs exercise and then a rest.
• When excited, the child will need to urinate.
• When stressed, the child's stomach will hurt.

Needs: Social opportunities.

• Small play groups.
• Props for pretend play.
• Art materials for creative expression.
• Tolerance.
• Parents with a sense of humor.

Discipline: Don't argue with a four.

• Talk less than the child does.
• Don't ask a four if the child did something. You will teach the child to lie.
• Teach the child the consequences for misbehavior; then when the child misbehaves, apply the consequences.
• Be very consistent with a four and the child will learn to control the child's own behavior.
• Four seems big but the child is still a baby when stressed or tired.
• Give the child lots of hugs and kisses even if you have to catch the child to do it.