What does impulsivity have to do with consequences?

Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of Attention Deficit Disorder. If anyone should know about this, it is our son, Chuck. For 17 years we wondered why he never seemed to learn from his mistakes. We couldn't figure out how such a smart child showed such an obvious lack of judgment.

After Chuck's ADD was diagnosed and the proper medication started, we had a thinking person in our house. ADD is not a defect in character but a very real defect in the brain. Neurotransmitters in the frontal lobes work well in most people. This section of the brain controls impulse and allows for forward thinking, such as consequences. In the ADD brain, this process is impaired. Stimulants activate the brain and the brain then functions.

Chuck described his sense of impulsivity before taking his medication to his doctor like this:

Sometimes you think of something and you think, "That would be fun." so you do it. You don't think about what will happen, about what most people would think about like, "Is it legal?" You don't think, Will I be embarrassed? Will I be humiliated? You just do it. Sometimes you have a second thought. You think, Do I really want to do this? " Hell, yes. I thought of it in the first place." And you do it. That's impulsive.

As his mother, I can assure you that he just did it! The confusing part was seeing how upset he would be with himself after something happened. Nothing about it made sense. After the right medication was found, Chuck said:

Wow, Mom. I can think before I do things. This is great.

We'll second that. I worked hard at consistently enforcing consequences. Chuck couldn't learn from his mistakes because they were never in his mind at that moment of action. Now they are. And all the years of enforcing the rules paid off. He really does know the difference between what is acceptable and what is not. Now he can use that knowledge to make his decision and think before he acts. He is still impulsive, but not dangerously so.

I hate to see children who are diagnosed ADD denied the benefits of the proper medication and told that they must try harder. We don't tell diabetics to try harder to regulate their blood sugar. ADD is evidence of a defective system. Nothing more. For some people, medication is a life-saver, no different than insulin. Chuck says that ADD stole his childhood. Untreated ADD lands lots of people in prison. Something can be done about it.

next: 30 Tips on Managing Attention Deficit Disorder at Home