Creating New Traditions

"We always go to Grandmother's house for Christmas."
"Gifts are opened on Christmas Eve."
"Gifts can only be opened on Christmas morning."

This is a season of customs and rituals that bring joy and happiness. Tradition gives form and expression to the special celebrations. Specific rituals and customs give us ways of relating to each other and create the memories we cherish. Such memories are gifts we give our children.

Tradition is more than a right way to do something. The small rituals and customs that are repeated from year to year give us something to anticipate. Traditions form mileposts for our memories and enrich our family time of sharing and loving, true gifts of the season.

Every child needs family traditions, even if they are brand new.

A tradition is simply a particular way of "always" doing something.

For the young family, it is often difficult to decide on which traditions to continue. How can the family traditions of one person accommodate the family traditions of the other? Parents are often faced with choosing between two sets of customs, rituals, and habits.

Differences can be resolved through communication and compromise.

More often than not, different customs can be combined providing children with a richer experience. When necessary, compromises can be worked out for mutual satisfaction keeping in mind what is best for the entire family.

Creating New Traditions

We have enjoyed creating new traditions for our children. When we find a custom that sounds like a good idea, we add that to our list of annual activities. With children, anything special or unique done once becomes tradition. As a result, we have our own family traditions.

Letters to Santa

We came up with a unique way of writing to Santa. When the children were small, they wanted to write letters to Santa. I didn't tell them Santa was real, only that he was magic. One cold night after the letters were written, I had them put the letters in the fireplace. "The smoke carries the messages to the North Pole, just like magic." If Santa could come down, why shouldn't the letters go up! (Added bonus: The kids could not change their minds about their wish list since the letters had been sent. That is the real reason for letters to Santa.)

They loved the idea and each year eagerly awaited the first cold day in December to send letters to Santa via "air mail".

Traditions with Tree Ornaments

Each year as we decorate the tree, we talk about the ornaments -- where they came from and what they represent. The kids are given a special ornament of their own each Christmas and they now tell us about all their ornaments from Chirstmases past.

On each family vacation, we collect something that can be hung on our tree at Christmas time. We relive vacation memories as we decorate the tree.

As the kids got older, my favorite ornaments have been the ones they made in preschool and kindergarten. We laugh and talk about those years as we hang the paper angels, bird's nests, and clay sheep.

Stockings for Everyone

From my sister's in-laws, we borrowed a tradition that provides adults with as much fun on Christmas morning as the children. All adults hang stockings right along with the kids. Everyone buys or makes a stocking stuffer (small and inexpensive) for each person's stocking. Shopping for those gifts is fun for everyone. Our children love being Santa for the adults. The gifts are wrapped and hidden until Christmas Eve. Secretly the stockings are all stuffed. Opening the stocking gifts on Christmas morning is more fun than opening the beautifully wrapped packages under the tree.

Soup before the Feast

One of my favorite customs from my family was the "soup before the feast" supper. On Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, we always had a meal of Mother's delicious vegetable-beef soup and cornbread. Friends were invited to share in the simple supper, a pefect meal before the feast that would follow the next day. We still have soup before the feast every year. It's a family tradition for my children now. Although the meal has changed to Tortilla Soup and tamales here in Texas.

Christmas is a season, not just one day of gift-giving.

Traditions make the season rich with love and sharing. Rejoice in your family traditions or create family traditions if you have none. The memories will last forever.

next: The Truth about Santa