On Tuesday, I sent her to school. By noon, I received a call from the school's nurse indicating that Terrica was running a fever. Tylenol tablets does wonders. Shortly after, the fever was gone. She was 95% hype meaning she was almost back to her normal hyper-self.

On Wednesday, I sent her to school again. I instructed her that she should not attend swim class because she is still sick. She implied that she would need a note to give to her teacher. I complied.

Wednesday evening, I worked later than usual. My husband and I decided to take the family and dine out. As soon as I walked in the house from work, I knew that Terrica had gone swimming. I asked, "Terrica, did you go swimming today?" She responded, "No ma'am". I informed her, "Are you aware of your actions? Do you understand that there will be consequences for unacceptable behavior - and lying is unacceptable".

She explained, "Yes, mother, I am aware of my actions and I do understand everything that you are saying." I said, "Okay, so I am going to ask you again. Did you go swimming today?" She consistently replied, "No ma'am, I did not."

Now you may be wondering, how did I know that she disobeyed me? When Terrica left the house that morning her hair was shining and straight. When she returned from school, it was dry looking and wavy. All indications that a non-permed African American has gotten their hair wet.

At dinner, she had sneezed and immediately she asked the family, "No bless yous?" Before anyone could react I said, "You would not be sneezing if you had listened to me and not gone swimming.." She echoed with an attitude, "Mom, I did not go swimming".

The next morning, Terrica requested that I style her hair with a ponytail on top and let her hair hang loosely in the back. So this means that I must blow-dry her wavy hair to make it straighten before curling the back half of her hair. While standing in from of the bathroom mirror blow drying her hair, I was giving her one more chance to tell the truth. This child of mine amazed me with her reply, "Mom, I really did not go swimming. I am telling the truth for a change." Then she continues with, "I went to the school's bathroom, put my head under the faucet and ran water in my hair. I wanted my hair to be wavy."

Oh my god, I began to laugh in disgust. I am supposed to believe that story? Then I remembered she had called me at work yesterday mid-afternoon just to tell me that she did not have to use the bathroom all day. She even told her daddy that story. My husband and I were baffled. We concluded she was amazed that she did not have to urinate all day. Okay. Nevertheless, I had lost my patience. I told Terrica, "I am sending a note to her teacher". And if her teacher tells me that she went swimming, she will lose two days of computer and TV time. She stuck with her story.

Guess what? I received a call from her teacher indicating that Terrica had been crying all day. When the teacher asked Terrica what was wrong, Terrica gave her my note. Terrica was upset because she did not want the teacher to know that she had lied. She also knew that she would lose computer and TV time for two days.

My take away from this story is not the Bad Hair experiences but Computer and TV Time is a commodity in my household. I once heard a parent say everything tangible is an ADDer privilege. I have learned to limit my privileges. Terrica is now aware of the unacceptable behaviors. And, if she decides to break the rules, she loses a commodity.

Summer time is now approaching. Guess what? The pool is now a commodity. Overall, she is getting better because she does not like when I take away the phone, computer or TV privileges. We sit down and talk about acceptable behaviors and her rewards as well as her consequences.

Do not get me wrong, we have not gotten over the hump completely. (For experienced ADD parents, I could not be where I am today without the medication). She continues to surprise us with the things that she says and does. But the number of stories has reduced by a small fraction but I take what I can get. People keep telling me it is because she is maturing. If this is the case, I thought I would never say these next words, "Mature faster - please!!!!!"

Written by Terrica's Mom

June 1, 1999

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