Rage: Overcoming Explosive Anger Online Conference Transcript - Rage: Overcoming Explosive Anger

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

toughgal: How do I somehow break the cycle and stop that anger before it starts, and if it DOES start how do I get my husband to point it out to me so that I can stop it?

Dr. Potter-Efron: I can't answer the first part because I don't know you. Regarding the next question, the 2 of you need to be a team. Raging is really dangerous and destructive. You need his help but you also need to make sure you listen to him, not punish him, for telling you what he sees.

jbrinar: Besides the obvious of giving them clues and letting them know it is building up, what can you do for a child's rage that gets so out-of-control they put holes in walls and break things? The rage is so built up, they will not listen to rationality.

Dr. Potter-Efron: Children who rage mostly need protection while they are having the rage. You have to intervene very early as you probably know, before they lose control. I suggest a set few phrases that you say only when they are beginning to lose it, along with a clear direction when you say it. That helps cut down their confusion. Very simple couple word phrases.

lyda027: Can you talk about instant rage seemingly from nowhere?

Dr. Potter-Efron: Some rages seem to appear from nowhere for absolutely no reason. If that happens consistently, I think you must consider medications. If you can't see it coming, you can't stop it. But also keep looking for cues, subtle cues, that you're beginning to lose control.

Kimby: My boyfriend has shame based rage, I think, and is very controlling. What is the most effective treatment for this type of rage/behavior?

Dr. Potter-Efron: Shame-based rage centers on clients taking in five critical messages about themselves: I am good, I am good enough, I belong, I am lovable, I exist. The last is ultimately the most important and the most difficult to achieve. The best thing you can do is to consistently let that person know you hold him/her in respect because respect is what shame-based ragers yearn for.

Hippy. How do we get rid of the rage that has been held inside for years? Feel fearful to even disagree with another person. What if it ever comes out?

Dr. Potter-Efron: You're describing a seething rage. Try letting a little bit of it out in a very safe place. With friends or therapists perhaps. Often the fear of having a rage is worse then the rage would be if you let it emerge.

angelicababy: What is the best way to deal with someone who is clearly in the midst of having a raging fit?

Dr. Potter-Efron: Safety is the only consideration. Talk is useless. Just try to keep the rager and yourself safe. Call 911 if need be and you can. Wait to talk until after the rage has been spent.

amayzingme: What type of medication works well with rage?

Dr. Potter-Efron: Several sometimes work. Anti-convulsants like Tegretol (Carbamazepine) are most common. Also SSRI antidepressants and also Ritalin (Methylphenidate)-like medications for people who need help keeping their frontal lobes working right.

Natalie: Our time is up tonight. Thank you, Dr. Potter-Efron, for being our guest. We appreciate you coming and speaking to us about rage and anger.

Dr. Potter-Efron: Thank you. It was an honor.

Natalie: I encourage everyone to sign up for our newsletter. It's free and we'll notify you of events happening on the HealthyPlace.com website: and you can sign up for the first and only social network for people with mental health conditions as well as their family members and friends.

Thank you everybody for coming. I hope you found the chat interesting and helpful. For more information on the rage and how to control it, you can purchase Dr. Potter-Efron's book Rage: A Step-by-step Guide to Overcoming Explosive Anger.

We also have another transcript from an earlier chat: Anger Management for Uncontrollable Anger, Explosive Rage.

Good night everyone.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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