How should the therapist-patient relationship work?

The relationship with a psychotherapist (or indeed with counselors, psychologists and group leaders) is very different from the one you make with a friend. You will find out very little about their personal life and their own difficulties and struggles. But you will reveal a lot about yourself.

The psychotherapist will be an important figure in your life. You are likely to develop strong feelings about him or her, which could be positive or negative. Either way, it is easy to feel that the psychotherapist is stronger and more powerful than you. This need not cause any difficulties, but it can leave you vulnerable to exploitation. A psychotherapist may persuade you to carry on seeing them (and paying for your sessions) even though your best judgment is that the sessions are not working. Psychotherapists have also been guilty of sexual harassment. Remember that you are the customer, as well as a client or patient.

You may need to discuss practical arrangements, review how your sessions are going, or air a grievance. You have every right to do this, as one responsible adult to another. If a psychotherapist can only relate to you as a neurotic patient, treat them with suspicion. Remember you can always leave.

It's worth remembering that your psychotherapist or counselor is a real person, doing a challenging job. They have good days and bad days, like the rest of us. You can help them to do their job to the best of their ability by treating them respectfully, by being on time for your session and paying your bills. If you appreciate their efforts, tell them so, and give them feedback, so they know when you can see their work is producing results.

Useful Organizations

American Psychiatric Association
888-35-PSYCH

Your county Psychological Association
listed in the phone book

American Psychological Association
800-964-2000

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
703-838-9808

National Association of Social Workers

Mental Health America
800-969-6642

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)
800-950-NAMI (6264)

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
800-826-3632

Anxiety Disorders Association of America
240-485-1001

Alcoholics Anonymous
212-870-3400

Recovery, Inc.
312-337-5661

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