Greg Cason, Ph.D. discusses what it means to "be gay," confusion over one's sexual identity, coming out, depression and suicidal thoughts, and other gay teen issues. Dr. Cason is a psychologist, director of a college counseling center, and specializes in working with gays and lesbians.

David is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com.

Our topic tonight is "Gay Teen Issues." Our guest is psychologist, Greg Cason, who is a director of a college counseling center and an adjunct professor of psychology and does a lot of therapy work with gays and lesbians. He is on the Board of Directors of both the Los Angeles County Psychological Association and the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association of Southern California.

I also want to mention that we have just opened the first site in our GLBT community. The site, Gay Is OK, focuses on gay teen depression and teen suicide.

Good evening, Dr. Cason and welcome to HealthyPlace.com. We appreciate you being our guest tonight. It seems in the year 2000, where we see gay parades on TV, gay activism and social clubs, that being gay is okay; that anyone can come out and they'll be accepted. However, from stories that I've been reading from gay teens, there are still great troubles associated with being gay. Am I right about that?

Dr. Cason: Well, it is true that being gay and coming out has taken a positive turn in our society, but the problems are far from over. The prejudice that one encounters can still be quite violent and aggressive, as in the case of Matthew Shepard. But even more often, prejudice is subtle and takes the form of the oppressor saying they are taking a higher ground, such as in the case of the school board in Orange County, stating that they didn't want a gay group on campus.

Then, I don't think we can overlook the day-to-day taunting and rejection by peers, when they know or suspect that you are gay, not to mention teachers and educational curricula, that only focus on heterosexual relationships. Same with the church, and the media, and home life... the list goes on and on. We have a long way to go. A few battles have been won, but the war against prejudice is far from over.

David: I want to address several issues directly tonight. The first one being confusion over one's sexual identity, trying to decide whether you really are gay or not? As a teen, how does one come to that conclusion or at least try and clarify that in their mind?

Dr. Cason: That is a good question because many people think that we are all born heterosexual and some people just suddenly get the idea that they are gay (like a virus) and then they come down with it like a permanent affliction. That is not what really happens. Instead, the person usually has some notion of their sexuality very early on, but rarely do they have a vocabulary or understanding of it. They do realize they are different and in the world of the child and adolescent, difference can mean rejection, so it is often kept inside. If the child does have a notion that he or she has attraction to those of his or her same sex, then he or she may take further steps to hide and feel shame that they feel something that is obviously disliked in their world.

The issue really is how does a young child, adolescent, or adult begin to come out of the shell that society has helped to create. It is not a decision to become "gay" but an understanding for many that they are going to be truer to themselves, and risk the rejection of others to be who they are. But this is a complicated question that brings up issues of "what is a gay identity?" Which is a whole different ball of wax, but suffice it to say, that the process of coming out with your attraction to those of the same sex, in this society, is a risky business.

David: So what you are saying is: you don't just wake up one day and say "I'm gay". There are a series of self-exploratory steps that may lead to a realization and acceptance of "this is who I am."

Dr. Cason: Absolutely! It is a more of an unveiling of, than a sudden change.

David: And I think you brought up a good point before, what does "being gay" mean, exactly?

Dr. Cason: Huge Question! For the purposes of simple discussion, it has been defined by many as an exclusive attraction to those of the same sex. But what about those who have some attraction to the opposite sex? Do they neatly fit into the third category of bisexual? Usually not. Also, there are those who have sex with members of their own sex, sometimes even exclusively, yet describe themselves as heterosexual for any number of reasons. The reasons could be that they only are "on top" or the one who is more dominate in the sexual situation, or it is cultural, or they are in prison, etc. There is no clear label for everyone. But, in American culture, being gay has come to not only define your attraction and sexual behavior, but also membership in a community and even a culture unto itself. I do not think that is at all bad, but it is not the total of those who may have sexual relations or attraction to those of their same sex.

David: I am not gay, so I haven't been through that experience. But I'm wondering if during your teenage years, there can be some confusion for gay teens on whether they are actually "attracted" to other male teens or whether this is some phase? I'm sure for many teens who already know they are gay, there is also some strong denial that this is actually so.

Dr. Cason: Kinsey had a scale where one is either a 0, or exclusively attracted to those of the opposite sex, and the scale progressed up to 6 for those who had an exclusive attraction to those of the same sex. I was a Kinsey 6, so I didn't question that it was there, I felt it strongly. What I questioned was my ability to be accepted in a world that was strongly anti-gay, so I hid it. In fact, I kept it so under wraps that my high school voted me "Senior Class Sweetheart." But many teens, either because they have a more mixed attraction (like a lower number on the Kinsey scale), or they are more conflicted psychologically, or maybe they are just really good at denial (which I believe a great number of those we are talking about have developed that as a coping mechanism), then those people might appear more "confused."