Coming Out and other GLBT Issues Online Conference Transcript - Coming Out and other GLBT Issues Conference

Written by Guest: Joe Kort

Marci: My partner and I have been together for 13 years. Her children call me 'Aunt Marci". How common is this and do you feel it is ok?

Joe Kort: I think that is up to the couple. I would challenge you however, as to why they need to call you aunt? Would this be the case if you were male? Would you be called Uncle? You are their stepmother so why not just your first name? That would be my question to you. I do not find this to be common at all to call the partner aunt or uncle.

David: Here are a few audience comments on what's been said tonight:

samb: Wonder if Joe Kort remembers Pogo's wisdom: We have found the enemy and he is us!

cb888: I was never taught to despise but that I would be judged by God as a sinner.

chuckles: I felt that I was using a lot of energy not accepting my feelings. I feel much better just accepting who I am. Now I can channel my energy to positive ways, even though I keep the secret.

David: Joe, the next person (a male) is in a relationship with a bisexual man, who he says is more gay than hetero. Here's his question:

cb888: In any sexual relationship is the self responsible for orgasms or is this effort to achieve sexual pleasure in the relationship supposed to be shared. He says it's my responsibility, I say, our shared responsibility.

Joe Kort: I say both. For you to tell him what you like so he knows how to pleasure you, and for him to ask and be empathic to what your needs are.

chuckles: It has to be shared or it is not a relationship.

Joe Kort: I agree, chuckles.

cb888: One side of the family knows and the other does not. My children were raised with no bias toward gays, and now later in life I've married a bisexual and they love him, but his family is not the same accepting nature. They tease him about painted toenails and the color pink. It ticks me off!

Joe Kort: I am sorry to hear that. I really am. You and he might want to reconsider how much time you spend with his family, or limit the amount of time.

butterfly1: Since coming out, I have much more problems than when I was stuffing and ignoring. My usband was the only man I was ever with, other then abusers. I was only ever with one woman, and that was in the last year. I am finding it hard to find my place to save those I love happiness.

Joe Kort: I would recommend to you, butterfly, that you get therapy to examine why you are having difficulties. It makes sense that when you were married to a man your problems were minimal because the natural power struggle and conflicts cannot surface in a mixed orientation marriage. You are out of denial now, and conscious living IS more difficult, but MUCH more freer.

David: And now, It's getting late. I want to thank Joe for being our guest tonight. Sharing part of his life story with us and his knowledge and expertise.

His website address is: www.joekort.com.

Joe Kort: Good night everyone. I appreciate being here tonight, and having the audience participate.

David: Thank you everyone for coming tonight, and good night.

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