So, Im new to this site. I havent ever been in a support group online. I hope this helps me.  I lost my baby 2 and 1/2 weeks ago. It was my first pregnancy, Ever! Im 41, married for 4 years. Im recently on unemployment, and my husband is in the process of seeking disability. Life is just a mess. He doesnt understand my depression. Iv fought with it off and on since I was a child. Anyway. Im just so stressed out. I didnt plan the baby,but I accepted it with all the attached stress, I thought it was Gods, will. but... I lost it. anyway. This morning my huband went to help this guy do some stuff in his yard , and was to be there at 7 am. so I got up and made him breakfast. He ask me where his socks were that he washed two days ago, I said in the chair. There was about 10 pieces of laundry unfolded, no more. I could tell it pissed him off that I hadnt folded it. So I jumped in to do it. Then about 30 mins later I walked back in the bedroom from the kitchen. He gets a text. Now this is at 6;30 In the am. I said who is that? He said it was his niece, ( She is 40 and married)  anyway he reads her text, it says people are like slinkies good for nothing, until you push them down the staires.  Then he laughts. Now maybe Im just paranoid, but, a text at 6am when she never text him that early, and althoe they do send joke to one another. It just seems kind of obvious that he probley vented to her about me being lazy or something and she responded back. I just cant think of another logical reason why she would b texting him at 6am or why she would sent something like that. The friction between us has been bad because Iv been very down, but he has just looked at it like Im so negative. People tell me something, why is it when a man is having a bad time and is down, women are usualy like it will be ok honey im here for you, tomorrow will be better, but when we are going throught something, its like an freaken inconvience to them!!! I dont get it. Much less do I really even care. I just lost the baby, in the bathtub mind, you, it was horrible and he WAS great Then. but I have been on unemployment for a year almost and unable to get a job, althoe I do go apply, every day, and the unemployment has been what has been paying All Our bills, but he  acts like just because he started helping some guy and I am not working, that he despises me! Th e house is NOT a wreck, the only thing iv been doing wrong is being depressed, sad, not talking much, not eating much, sleeping alot during the day, but i havent for the last two days, but im sad!!!!  His answer to my depression is their is plenty to do around here, was the windows. Tell me how many of you feel like you freken interested in washing the windows when your depressed??? I told him, IM going to be more positive today. I went to a therapist yesterday for the first time in years, Im working on getting my self back, We dont have the money for my depression med right now, we are very broke. But why does it have to be so hard for your own husband to acts like he cares, instead of acting like it tes him off!! Why am I not entitled to feel what I feel, its not like I want to to be like this. Beleive me, if I could flip a switch and fix me I would of already done it Along time ago!! So now on top of this depression Im starting to feel even more alone and doubting my marriage. Its always about him, him, him, Im tired. I pay the freaken bills. Iv always had a good career up until I went on unemployment, I have a college education. He has a 8th grade education, Why cant I be cared for or respected when Im going through this. Why is my problem so freaken inconvient to him?? Maybe I should just get a divorce??????  I dont really have room in my own life to deal  with the inconvience of my depression, but now its just getting me irritated and angry, on top of sad. This sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any advice would be appreciated. I just dont have anyone to vent to.