Step Eleven:

Notice what you want to do to end this exercise. Postpone ending the exercise for from one to ten minutes. The minutes you spend in the exercise after you want to stop will provide you with more information. It's not necessary to push beyond ten minutes. You are stretching your tolerance in this exercise. You are also being kind, patient and accepting of yourself. Postponing from one to ten minutes will give you the strengthening and confidence building experience you need. More is not required.

As you postpone you build your own strength and endurance so you can bear more information. That's where your freedom is. Write down this experience too.

Step Twelve:

When you decide you have had enough, write that you have decided to stop. Also write what you intend to do in the next minute. Be honest. Then put your book in the safe place you created.

Next Appointment with Yourself

In each appointment with yourself, go through these exercises the same way, beginning with reading the introductory preparatory exercises. With each appointment with yourself you may choose the same or a different question. You will find that you avoid some and return to others. You are choosing what is right for you at the time.

Understanding Your Triumphant Journey Process

By beginning to go through these exercises, even for a moment, you are slowing down your escape behavior. You are journeying toward what has been dark inside you. This is your gentle but firm search through your protective system. You are on your way to the truth, innocence and solidity of your identity.

By moving slowly and without judgment through these carefully planned and respectful processes, you will begin to hear and understand your own well guarded secrets. Your protective system will present obstacles. You will be extraordinarily creative in the range of obstacles you present to yourself. It is a challenge to meet them. It can also be a very reinforcing time as you appreciate your own powers of unconscious creativity. Once your secrets are resolved you will be able to use your creativity for much more positive purposes.

When you know these obstacles are unnecessary defenses your protective system is putting up, you can more firmly stay present and on task. Here are a few example of self-created obstacles. Learn to recognize them for what they are.

1. You will get anxious, bored, irritated or distracted.
2. You will forget to do the exercises.
3. You will only be able to do them for a few minutes.
4. You will not image or experience a brief and little image.
5. You will say to yourself, "This is nonsense." "This isn't getting me anywhere." "I can't do this right." "I want _______(fill in your favorite binge food)."

These are the actions and the voice of your old self-protective system. Remember, you developed this system when you were a young, frightened and powerless child. Living by such rules now that you are more mature and have more personal resources is a tremendous waste of your life energy.

It takes time to let go of a system that has worked well for you for so long. After all, that part of you was designed to save your life. Maybe it actually did help to save your life or your sanity.

If you meet these obstacles with the patience and kindness they deserve, gradually you will begin to hear your true voice, a voice hidden for years by overeating and other barriers.

Over time, you will discover and develop more strength and courage. You will greet yourself as an undivided person capable of positive action and profound joy.

This will take time. You will cry. You will get mad. You will protest. Use your support systems. Be gentle with yourself. Stick with it. These are the guideposts for your triumphant journey.

end of part 7

next: Triumphant Journey Part 8