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Janet's story is that she didn't t like the therapist. She said that therapist blamed everything on family issues. Janet simply couldn't stick to the expectations of the program. Janet somehow got her way out of that one.
Janet has been seeing a therapist off and on for several years who does not specialize in anorexia. She says, "He makes me feel better." She s very encouraged by the fact that he recently started reading up on anorexia to learn more about it! Wow, after years of seeing her, he's now reading up on it! Shouldn't we feel so good?
God forbid my parents would ever get cancer, I m sure Janet would just love it if we sent them to a doctor who started reading up on it. She doesn't listen to me when we say that she needs to be going to someone who understands her problem. Making her feel good is indeed a good thing, but a doctor needs to help you make progress toward recovery and this therapist is not doing that.
But I think Janet sees his concern for her, and she sees that he really likes her which is what Janet longs for in any relationship. It s all part of anorexia. She is a people pleaser but continues to damage herself.
Joanna, my parents are at a loss of what to do. My retired father has spent $110,000 of his savings from Janet's most recent stay in the hospital last year. He has hired a lawyer to fight the insurance companies denial of the claims.
Anorexia is NOT just a mental disease I have no doubt Janet would be dead if she didn't t get into that hospital. She would have died because her body stopped working. Isn't that physical? The 200 pages of documentation from doctors, hospitals, and therapists verify this.
We cannot afford for her to go back into in-patient treatment. Her Cobra ends in June. She is applying for social security, but if she doesn't get it, any more hospitalizations will be devastating for my parents. My mother works mostly so they have health insurance. I know what a terrible position it is to have to put money into consideration to save a life, but it's reality.
My dad can t get out of his mind one of her recent seizure episodes where she was laying on the ground and fighting the paramedics in complete hysteria screaming, "Dad, I don't want to die."
I bought Janet the new book by Tracy Gold entitled Room to Grow- An Appetite for Life. Janet read it and is convinced that Tracy went through everything she is! When asking her how Tracey got through it, Janet replied, "She met her husband." Janet doesn't realize this needs to come from within her.
I want to continue my efforts in finding her more help.
Sincerely,
Kay
Dear Kay,
Your letter is moving and heartbreaking. I admire your stamina and dedication as you attempt to help your sister and your family. Your question, how do you explain anorexia to a five year old? lingers in my soul.
I wish you every success in finding the quality treatment your sister needs and the support you and your family need. Please take care of yourself.
Best wishes and peace, peace, peace
Joanna
Dear Kay,
Your letter describing your sister's situation is a most valuable description of what agony anorexia can bring to the individual suffering from the illness and the entire family.
I think many people would benefit from hearing this story. Would you be willing to have your letter be posted on my website?
Please let me know. You can be as public or as anonymous as you wish. I believe your story needs to be told and you tell it clearly and well. Truth, pain and love pour from every sentence.
Best wishes and peace, peace, peace.
Joanna
Dear Joanna,
Yes, Joanna, you can post my letter. The comfort of knowing that it could help someone makes me feel better. I do not care if my email address is attached.
I appreciate your response, and on behalf of everyone you have helped and are helping right now, THANK YOU. I truly believe that 5-10 years from now, the horrors of Anorexia will be much better known and treatment will be accessible and covered by insurance for in-patient treatment for the necessary period of time it takes to help a person. In the meantime, I'm afraid my sister will become a statistic.
If you have any unique suggestions as to how we can get Janet help, please let me know. I know that our distance disables our ability to become a client of yours. I know it really takes the right therapy and commitment of the patient to beat the disease. Janet has lived with this so long, I just don't see her making the change in her lifestyle. It's horrible for me to say that, but it's how I feel. She needs to be forced, and that goes against a lot of the recommendations of doctors for someone with anorexia. She's an adult and she needs to make the change. I just don't know if I can live with the consequences.
Thank you again for your quick response. God bless you.
Attached is a picture of my beautiful sister and my two great kids who adore her more than candy or life itself.
Sincerely,
Kay
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