Surviving Bulimia - Dealing with Bulimia

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

David: Apparently, some of the things being said today have struck a chord with the audience. Here are some comments:

florecita: My stepmom cooks a lot of food all the time; pork and those kinds of meals. We live with her, but I don't know how can I tell her because that will make it harder for me.

nymphet: My mum never does anything more than yelling at me all the time. I don't really feel so much ashamed, but people who know about this think I should be ashamed.

hungrygirl: It was a general person, but I work on the issues, feelings, etc. a lot on my own. The eating behavior seems to have a will outside of myself; like I'm doing it and don't even realize it anymore. Maybe I just didn't make the connection between the eating and the emotions? I don't know.

gillian1: That's easier said than done. I tried to tell my parents, but I had to think of a cover story when she was far from happy.

eccchick: Sometimes I feel like I don't want to get better. Most of the time I like the attention my friends and family are giving me. They are showing me they care. I want to know they love me. I want them to tell me I am horrible.

dreamer05: I agree with the fact that the parents need to get help themselves. If they really want to help, they need to educate themselves about this disease. Granted, they many not want to because it may be hard. Parents may not understand why the sufferer is doing this to themselves. Oftentimes, people think that we have control over this disease because it's not cancer or aids.

David: Here are a few more audience comments, then onto more questions:

eccchick: I know it sounds horrible, maybe I am, but sometimes I feel like I don't want the help. I like the attention it gets me, my friends and family show me they care

margnh: Planning makes you think about the food all the time, as with the journal. It is not entertaining enough to preoccupy me.

recoverednow: Changing the negative self-talk is extremely difficult. Eating Disorders tend to feed the negative self-concept. It isn't always abuse that leads to an eating disorder. My disorder was "based on" fear of abandonment and the need to please.

AmyGIRL: Can bulimia cause you to have a violent temper?

Judith Asner: It can certainly be upsetting and make you feel out of control, angry with yourself and others. There is a lot of self-rage in bulimia.

David: Some people have asked for additional information about bulimia. Here are the bulimia symptoms and how to diagnose bulimia.

hungrygirl: How does the coaching work exactly? Specifically, what kinds of interactions can you expect to have with a coach?

Judith Asner: The coach is there to ask you important questions to help you look at what you are doing with your life, how you may be lying to yourself, what your real truths are, and how you can live your truth and live the life you really desire. It's usually by phone. There is also group coaching by phone, where a group can talk together in a conference call. For example, a group of 20 people over a conference call can be talking about meal plans, shame, etc. It's similar to what we are doing now, only it's over the phone instead of inside a chatroom.

dreamer05: You mentioned something about talking to people about it and telling them that you have a problem. What happens when you do that and they leave you? Essentially, they're telling you that they can't handle it. I see that as them not loving you because they are giving up on you when you finally ask for help. What do you see it as?

Judith Asner: Dreamer, they just can't handle it and you should let the person leave, let that person go. That would not be the person for you. You could never be your true self with that person and that person can never love all of you because the eating disorder is a part of you at that moment.

eccchick: Does it make me horrible because I like the attention I get from people. My family and friends know that I am sick. I want to know that they care. I want to know that I am loved. I am scared of losing my friends. Maybe I'm not really sick. In a way, I like what I am doing. Losing the weight is something I have become good at. Am I horrible?

Judith Asner: That does not make you horrible. It sounds like a desperate cry for attention and love. Are there other ways to get love? Do you have to be sick to get attention? Do you feel that you are not lovable unless you are sick? Are there some positive ways to get attention? What you are speaking of is "secondary gain" and that's the attention that one gets from having the illness. But there are certainly healthier ways to get attention. Can you think of some? Maybe you can be the best tennis player, or the greatest friend, best writer, sweetest person; anything else but sick. It sounds like you doubt your worth, eccchick. If I were you eccchick, I would start a campaign for a charitable cause and get your picture in the newspapers. Doing something for someone should make anyone feel good.

David: Here's the link to the HealthyPlace.com Eating Disorders Community. You can click on this link and sign up for the mail list at the top of the page, so you can keep up with events like this.

Thank you, Judith, for being our guest today and for sharing this information with us. And to those in the audience, thank you for coming and participating. I hope you found it helpful. We have a very large eating disorders community here at HealthyPlace.com. You will always find people interacting with various sites.

Also, if you found our site beneficial, I hope you'll pass our URL around to your friends, mail list buddies, and others. http://www.healthyplace.com

Judith Asner: Thank you for inviting me. I hope that some of the people who were writing about their shame will realize there is nothing to be ashamed about. It's just a symptom of a problem like depression, etc. There are many people willing to help and many resources. Most importantly, never give up on yourself.

David: Have a good evening everyone. And thank you for coming.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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