online conference transcript

Cris Haltom, PhD., who has treated many adolescents and adults with eating disorders, is the guest speaker.

David is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

BEGINNING:

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com. Our conference tonight is entitled: "A Survival Guide for Parents with Eating Disordered Children". This will cover children will suffer from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

Our guest is Dr. Cris Haltom, PhD. Dr. Haltom has treated many adolescents and adults with eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), has trained mental health clinic staff in eating disorders treatment and is a guest lecturer on the topic of eating disorders at Cornell University. She also works with parents to help them cope with the emotional stresses of having eating disordered children.

Good evening Dr. Haltom and welcome to the HealthyPlace.com site. I received about 20 emails today from parents who are not only concerned about their eating disordered children, but also explaining the impact that this has had on their lives and other members of their families. In your experience, what is the toughest part of surviving this ordeal for the parents?

Dr Haltom: Coping with the frustration of an eating disordered child who is resistant to treatment and the long-term nature of treatment.

David: And that's part of the disease. Many times, the sufferer doesn't realize or doesn't want to acknowledge that anything is wrong. How is a parent to deal with that?

Dr Haltom: Parents need to recognize, first, that they have a right to express their worries and concerns to their children. An open and honest approach to gently confronting a child is important. Parents need to use "I" statements when they confront a resistant child and to site some of the behaviors and signs that they have observed which suggest there is a problem.

Parents should approach an eating disorder like any other illness. It is a serious matter and they can communicate that to their children. They can also point out that there are professionals who will be gentle and supportive with them in proposed treatment.

David: I know that's easy to say. But many parents are faced with children who are openly combative and insist that nothing is wrong. Parents tell the child she/he needs help and the child says "no way." Then what?

Dr Haltom: Great question. Parents can expect resistance and anger. As you said, it is often part of the disorder. Taking a child to a physician can often be helpful. Because eating disorders also have a medical component, there are often telltale signs that will be picked up in a doctor's office. It is difficult for a child to refute medical evidence. In the case of a child's safety being jeopardized, a child may need to be escorted to the emergency room of a hospital where both a mental health and medical professional can assess the situation for safety.

Also, I would like to point out that there is nothing wrong with anger. Underneath a child's anger is some important communication about why they are having problems. And underneath anger is usually hurt and/or fear.

David: Dr. Haltom, here are a few audience questions:

PattyJo: Since a lot of eating disorder sufferers have a 'guilt complex' anyway, how can a parent express concern without triggering the eating disorder? I found that the eating disorder 'spoke' for my daughter about 80% of the time at her lowest weight. I found that even at 62 lbs., we had to "Force" our daughter into an inpatient treatment facility.

Dr Haltom: Since the eating disorder is often the primary way a child copes, it is often difficult to avoid triggering eating disorder symptoms. In general, it is best not to walk on eggshells with your child even if you are concerned about causing guilt.

Emerald Angel: What if you (the child or the parent) cannot afford to get help?

Dr Haltom: One important step for parents is to educate yourself about eating disorders. There is now excellent on-line information on a number of websites (including this one) about eating disorders. There are also a number of national organizations (e.g. National Association of Anorexia and Related Eating Disorders or ANAD) which act as referral sources to low cost treatment. These organizations all have websites.

Also, your local mental health clinic and pediatrician will most likely be able to help you. Recent studies have shown that primary care physicians, when educated about eating disorders, are key treatment team members.

David: If you haven't been on the main HealthyPlace.com site yet, I invite you to take a look. There's over 9000 pages of content. Check out the Eating Disorders Community.

Here's a question I've received from several parents: Is there really any such thing as "true recovery". Or is it like alcoholism, where, in a sense, you are always in recovery?

Dr Haltom: It depends on which school of treatment specialists you are talking to. The addiction camp suggests that once you have an eating disorder, you remain recovering. However, there are many who believe that people with eating disorders can and do recover. About 50% of people with eating disorders, after recovering, report being "cured."