Eating Disorders Hospitalization - Hospitalization Treatment for Eating Disorders

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Monica: What made you stay and eat instead of not eating and running away?

DianaK: When I first got in, the very first days, there were times when I didn't want to eat, but remembered the policy. It literally made me tremble. Also, having others who were a little further along in the treatment and my therapists there along side me, really helped. I knew this was going to be my last chance. And it took a lot of willpower sometimes to force food down me and then not throw it up again. The other thing was, I was physically ill from my eating disorder and I kept telling myself you have to beat it.

Maigen: I don't think that I'm quite ready to get better yet. How do you know when its time for a treatment center or if there really is any reason for one? I still feel like I can control this most days. Is it when there are more bad days than good or what?

DianaK: That's a difficult question Maigen. For me, I knew going to the therapist's office wasn't helping me. I had tried very hard stopping several times over a 6 year span, but couldn't. I would stop for a few days, my longest was 9 days, then start right back up. Also Maigen, I hope you don't have to learn this the hard way, you never really control your eating disorder. That's your mind fooling you. It always controls you. It's just at the beginning, you think it doesn't. As time moves on, it takes a firmer control.

Shelby: I guess I am confused, but I thought that you are never FREE from the eating disorder....you just learn how to accept yourself. Am I not right?

DianaK: I think you are right Shelby. I think once it gets to the point where I was, there is always a temptation to go back--especially if I get really stressed out or depressed. That's one of the things I learned in therapy. If you know what's going to kick you back into your old habits, you have to look at yourself and your situation and say I can't do that. This is not good for me.

Bob M: What was the most important thing(s) you learned while you were in therapy, in-patient?

DianaK: I learned about myself. Ever since I was very young, I was shy. I always let people boss me around, didn't want to hurt anybody, and felt very intimidated by others. Because of that, I kept all my feelings inside. When you do that to an extreme, your body breaks. I've learned how to care for myself, that I matter. That my feelings and thoughts matter. Also, that if I don't express myself, how can anyone help me or communicate with me, or know what I am thinking. So to sum it up, I learned how to cope better and deal with life better.

Bob M: We are talking with Diana...24 years old now. She suffered for 6 years with anorexia, then bulimia, and a combination of both illnesses. Diana finally went in-patient as a last ditch effort to save herself...and was there for nearly 2 months. Now, it's been 3 years since she came out. When you finished with the in-patient program, how did you feel on that last day as you walked out the door?

DianaK: That's not an easy question. Really, and I'm starting to tear remembering this, I was afraid then too. I remember thinking I can't leave these people, my entire support system, and make it on my own. My first reaction was to think of going back to my old friend--bulimia. The therapist had warned my parents about this. Apparently, it's common for many people with eating disorders. My parents took a month off from work, first my mom for 2 weeks, then my dad. They watched over me day and night. I had therapy with my regular therapist in his office 3 days a week in the beginning. And I joined a very small support group, there were 3 of us in the entire city apparently who had an e.d., and we got together 3 days a week and talked and supported each other. I can't tell you how important having support and people who care about you, around you, really is.

Marti1: Diana, do you still go to an outpatient therapist and what have you learned in terms of relapse prevention?

Bob M: Also, if you are interested in getting in or out of patient treatment at the St. Joseph's Center for Eating Disorders, you can fill out the form on the website and they will contact you and answer all your questions. It is one of the top eating disorders treatment programs in the country. They are located near Baltimore, Md.

DianaK: Yes, I still go even though it's been 3 years since I've been out of the hospital. I go about 2 times a month. That's not just for my eating disorder, but to also deal with my other issues and just to kind of keep me grounded. It helps keep things from building up. As far as relapses, like George Washington said, I cannot tell a lie. I relapsed once, about 4 months after I left the hospital, for a period of about 3 days. I worked up the courage to tell my therapist and I got through it with the help of her and my parents and the others in my support group. What I've learned Trina is that you have to recognize the signs of a relapse and what will lead you back down that path. For instance, if I get into a relationship with someone, and it's not right, I can't continually struggle with it. Or, I can't let work stress me out too much. I have a lot of responsibility at my job. However, I have to say to myself, if I don't get any sleep and I start getting angry or depressed, I'm right back where I started. So you have to be aware of what your mind and body can cope with and not go beyond those limits. The second thing is: if you have a relapse, the important thing to recognize is that you don't have to continue with the behavior. Do something about it right away. And forgive yourself, for you are only human.

Bob M: Here's an audience comment:

JoO: Congratulations Diana K...you sound like you have come a long way and faced up to many of your 'ghosts'. I to have an eating disorder -- different than yours -- but the emotional stuff -- not feeling good enough to say no, and keeping things inside are the same and destroy both body and mind. I admire you very much...keep on fighting your fight -- you're winning!!

Stacy: How do you find a good treatment program/hospital?

Bob M: That's an excellent question. I would talk with your therapists. I would call around to the various eating disorders treatment centers and see what they have to offer. And then I'd talk with other former patients and see what they have to say. They have a national reputation. Several people from our site have gone there and said it's been a wonderful program that has really helped them. If you are interested, visit St. Joseph's link for more info. Once you get to the St. Joseph's page, there's a form to fill out for more info.

Bob M: I just noticed it's nearly 10:30 central, 11:30 eastern. We've been going for 2.5. hours. I want to thank you for coming Diana. The insights you offered are valuable. I think it also let's everyone know that it's alright to be scared of the unknown, what treatment will mean and what's ahead in life.

DianaK: And the other part of it is Bob, you have to fight for yourself. You can't sit around and say this will never happen to me because as time goes on, the eating disorder becomes stronger and life becomes a lot rougher. If there is just one message I could bring tonight it would be: TAKE A CHANCE on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to work through your eating disorder and do it with a PROFESSIONAL. I know it's tough. I've been there. But it's worth it. Trust me. If you've been to hell, anything else is like being in heaven. Good night everyone and thanks again for having me.

Bob M: I hope tonight's conference was helpful to everyone and there was some good information and good karma you can carry with you.

Bob M: Good Night everyone.

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