Binge Eating / Compulsive with Joanna Poppink - Compulsive Overeating Conference

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Bob M:Someone asked me about the overeaters program Joanna mentioned earlier. That's "Overeaters Anonymous" and they have chapters in many cities around the country. You can look up their phone number in your local phone book, or go to one of the search engines and type in "Overeaters Anonymous" and go to their site for local chapter listings. I believe the program is free of charge.

Joanna Poppink: Overeaters Anonymous is free and I do recommend it. However, I recommend many 12 step programs, even if they are not directly about eating disorders. There is much to learn from other people's struggles and wins as they move to heal from compulsive behaviors of all kinds.

Bob M: Our guest is psychotherapist, Joanna Poppink, MFCC, who has researched and written about the topic. We have covered some of the reasons why people overeat and the things and "secrets" in their lives that keep them overeating (overeating causes). I think for many, Joanna, the underlying issues probably need to be dealt with in therapy. Do you think people can accomplish these things towards recovery on their own?

Joanna Poppink: Not being able to trust other people is part of the problem. So learning to trust others is part of the healing. That can't be done theoretically. Real flesh and blood people in genuine relationship are required. What form that takes can vary. I, from my vantage point as a psychotherapist, feel that psychotherapy is crucial. However, there may be other ways to develop on honest, trustworthy and deeply sharing relationship that will contribute to the person's healing. One major problem is that the binge eater, compulsive overeater, often has not learned how to choose trustworthy people. So learning how to recognize who is trustworthy, developing a posture where people have to earn trust, is part of healing. And this requires real people in real relationship.

Hero: I was fat as a baby. To my parents food was always the topic of conversation. I have had weight problems my entire life. I was never abused. Maybe overprotected? I am angry that food was so important when I was young (and still is). Will we be able to ever find out what is really making us overeat?

Joanna Poppink: Hero, sometimes parents overfeed their babies because it's their way of giving love. What then can happen, as it does to so many, is that food becomes an expression of love: e.g. chocolate for Valentine's Day, "sweets for the sweet", and there are many other examples in our culture. So a person may reach for food when they want love. There's soothing in the food itself. And there are associations of love from the past connected to the food. Food then has powerful drawing power when you feel insecure and needing love. Yes, we can find out what is making us overeat. Maybe not the precise details. But we don't need the precise details. We don't even need historical accuracy. What we do need is respect for our own processes. When we overeat, if we recognize that we are feeling something that we do not know how to accept, then we have the guiding tool to recovery. Then we can look in our lives, in our dreams, in our last conversation and try to find what it was that made us try to run away to oblivion for safety. Once we're on that path, there is no limit to the degree of healing and personal development we can achieve.

Bob M: One of our audience members, Sincerely, also mentioned to me that "when you are missing love, affection, or similar emotions, all the food in the world won't fill up that pot." I also want to touch on the subject of "dieting" here. When I use the term "dieting", I'm talking about a person who needs to lose 10-15 pounds, because they put on a little extra weight, for whatever reasons. But, I'm wondering Joanna, does "dieting", or diet programs, work for overeaters?

Joanna Poppink: It seems that all diets work and all diets fail. When we go on a weight reduction diet, if we stick to it for a few weeks or a few months, we will lose weight. When we lose that weight we lose some protective padding between us and the world. If we have not done the inner work to prepare us and to equip us to handle the world better, we will put that padding back on. Because our psyches now know that the original padding was not adequate (because we lost it), we will make adjustments in our inner formulas. We won't only regain the lost weight. We will gain extra for insurance. It's so important to remember that when diets fail, it is the diet that is failing, not the person. Diets can work for overeaters if the overeater addresses the issues that govern his or her eating. If and when she or he feels and is more powerful and able in addressing the challenges the world offers us, the padding is not as necessary. Then a diet can work. Although often, at that point, the person's weight goes down without dieting. Binging just isn't as interesting anymore. The person has more interesting things to do in life.

Bob M: Some more audience comments:

JoO: Some of us were brought up in the age where to seek help, or even to recognize the need, was shame-based. Emotional abuse, drunken parent you babysat and took the blame for his drinking, etc. So through 57 years, I have had to deal with this on my own because I couldn't 'allow myself' to feel.

Heavenly: exactly!!!!!! Is it best then to see a private therapist to work out problems before going to O.A.?

Joanna Poppink: Either way is fine. I do recommend that you see a therapist who is somewhat familiar with 12 step programs. In my work, I have recommended that people go to meetings. And people have come to me after being a participant in 12 step meetings. You can't really make a mistake here. The main thing is to begin. To JoO, not allowing yourself to feel is what eating disorders are all about. It's such a lonely place to be. And what makes it worse is when you do start to feel something and then criticize yourself for it. And that's part of eating disorders too. This is why I recommend that people go to all kinds of 12 step programs and listen. You will, at some point, hear someone tell your story, describe your feelings and show you how they are finding their way to a better life. Part of the nourishment needed in healing is valid, honest and trustworthy inspiration from real people. There are many people, including the people who participate on this site, who I'm certain, will applaud your allowing yourself to feel. Keep it up.

Bob M: As with everything, find a therapist that is good for you. If you are interested in 12-step programs, make sure you choose a therapist who is familiar with them. How? By calling around and asking them directly. Here's some additional information that you can use. First, here's the url for Joanna's cyberguide to stop overeating and work towards recovery: http://cybertowers.com/selfhelp/articles/eating/guide/edtjintro02.aspl . Secondly, if you would like to contact her directly, her email address is: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Joanna Poppink: Thank you for having me. This was a pleasure.

Bob M: And to everyone in the audience, I hope tonight's conference was helpful. Remember, it's up to you to take the first steps and then follow through. Good Night.

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