Laura Collins Shares Parent to Parent Tips

Olympia Collins - brilliant, athletic, fun-loving, engaged, informed - went from obsessing about food to fearing food - to barely eating at all. Realizing that her daughter was suffering from anorexia nervosa, Laura Collins went in search of answers as to why this was happening and how to stop it. Here Laura tells you, parent to parent, what she'd like to say to you over coffee (and a slice of baklava!)

• Take the time to recognize and accept that an eating disorder is serious and life-threatening. It is not just going to go away.

• For the present, and for a long while to come, life must be structured around the recovery, and not the other way around. It's not your fault.

• It's not your child's fault. What counts is how you react, not how you got there. Treat the disease as an alien parasite that can be overcome but is not to be bargained with.

• Food is medicine. The prescription is full nutrition, consumed and digested, every meal of every day.

• It's not negotiable. Similar to insulin levels for a diabetic and chemotherapy dosages for a cancer patient, the amount a healthy body needs to eat is not negotiable. Do not bargain, do not given in.

• Don't wait. Every meal, every day, all your life, starting right now.

• Declare an anger-free, guilt-free, shame-free zone in your lives. Live there.

• Do not give shelter to starvation, malnutrition, purging, self-harm, depressed, thinking, or meanness. Make your home a safe place to be healthy.

• Weigh lightly. Weight is an imperfect and tricky measure of health but up or down trends have meaning. Do it rarely, and randomly, and avoid making a fuss.

• Set boundaries and maintain them. Do not allow the disease to rewrite history, rule the present, or set terms for the future.

• It is not forcing them to eat, it is letting them eat and live.

• Consider the family as a whole in making care decisions.

• Listen, but you don't have to agree.

• There is nothing to argue about. Period.

• Be specific about your needs. “A casserole a week." “Babysitting while we go to the therapist." “Listen to me cry."

• Surround yourself with people who support your family and your decisions. Listen to them.

• Believe in your family, flaws and all. Trust your bravest instincts if the advice you hear does not fit.

• Love your child all you can, with every parental muscle you have. Feel free to hate the disease, however.

• Eat together. Allow your meals to be a celebration, a priority, and not an extra chore. Enjoy shopping, cooking, eating, and cleaning up together. Lose the things that get in the way.

next: Peer Pressure and Eating: Helping Your Child Eat Right