It is interesting to me that I am a compulsive overeater and I have just found your pages doing research for a paper. I have tried OA, Jenny Craig, The Diet Center, Weight Watchers, starvation, purging, ... you know, run the gamut.
Anyway, maybe because I am now 38 years old I have come to see my weight as more of a physical handicap. I don't like being fat and am now down to 335. I recognize the emotional side of being fat, have had the depression, the self loathing, and let it rule my life. I made my choices based on what I could and couldn't do because of my fat.
When I was about 30, I decided that I wasn't going to let other people's ignorance and prejudices rob me of my life. I swam, I started school, I did whatever I wanted. It took awhile, but I even met a man who cared about me as a person, not as a body.
Somewhere this must spell the start of recovery, though I am not exactly sure where. I do know that I can recognize ignorance in other people and not accept their judgment as my definition. Very freeing. My current weight loss feels very comfortable. I think I am finally ready. I am using a prescribed appetite suppressant, have had no side effects, and am very happy with the results. I find that it helps with the obsession about food, almost more of a "psych" drug than any kind of appetite suppressant I have used before. No speedy feeling. At first, I kinda thought using it was cheating, that I hadn't dealt with the underlying emotional issues of my weight, but now I wonder if it hasn't been more an issue of brain chemistry and less of a character defect all along. Just my thoughts.
My encouragement is with you.
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