Eating Disorder First-Hand Stories - Stories About Eating Disorder

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Karen Age: 27 Bulimia

I am currently afflicted with bulimia. I have been with this disorder for nearly 6 years. This disorder was a cure-all for my excessive weight in college. In fact, at first it wasn't a disorder at all. It was a gift. One that I did not, could not, let go. Now it is a curse, one I own.

I soon discovered this was consuming me and it was taking every essence of my being. I became obsessed with finding all I could about eating disorders. I was one who had control of it, not it of me. I researched for hours, denying myself of friends, of life. When I wasn't reading about it I was acting it out. I became involved with an eating disorder support group at the University of Northern Iowa. Not to get support but to satisfy my own obsession in hearing other people's stories. I could offer advice that would help but never needed any myself.

I finally admitted I more of a problem than I could 'solve' on my own. In the spring of my junior year I decided to go to a counselor. After a few sessions she urged me to go into an inpatient treatment facility. I shied away from this, but eventually entered.

I remained in for 9 weeks. I went through several methods of treatment. Antidepressant medication, psychotherapy and eating disorder group therapy. I came out of treatment with renewed strength and faith. After six months, I relapsed. I was continuing my counseling, but that ceased after a year. I was only getting worse.

My professional life was on the up and only getting better. My personal life was shot! I was becoming my disorder in a severe way. I began stealing food for my disorder. I continue to deteriorate and act out my disorder during any free minute I get. It is a compulsive habit that has become a full blown addiction.

My future? I wish I knew. I can only hope and envision myself becoming strong enough to overcome this. I have serious doubts that this will ever happen. I spend a vast amount of energy planning, covering up and acting out my other persona. I wish I could become a 'normal' person. I don't think that will ever happen.

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Shannon Age: 15 Anorexia

I suppose I do have an eating disorder. I have been depressed and I don't really know what kind of eating disorder I have.

I used to sort of be bulimic, but now I'm an anorexic overeater. I try to keep it from my friends and family, but it has affected me in a lot of ways. It's very frustrating and hard to deal with.

I do have a psychologist, but, because I am neither under weight or overweight, no one really takes me seriously. Last year and the year before, people thought I was anorexic. Now, everyone thinks everything is okay as long as I'm eating. No one really seems to understand that when I'm overeating, its just as bad as when I'm not eating at all.

I generally try to protect those around me, so I keep it hidden. I've never really figured out why eating is such a problem for me, but I always have a really hard time with food. I hope to someday be able to eat normally, without worrying about calories, or completely binging, but first I need to find the right help.

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Lynn Age: 33 Anorexia

I'm 33 years old and weigh 87 lbs, and I'm 5'3.

I guess you would say that I'm still in denial about having anorexia. I've had two doctors and one dietician tell me that my problems come from my low weight. When I initially went to the doctor because my heart beats too fast, he told me it was the result of an eating disorder. He put me on heart medication.

I haven't had any treatment for eating disorders. I refused to go because I don't think that's my problem. However, deep down, the more I look at things and talk to people, the more the doctors may be right. It's a fight within yourself, that I don't know who will win.

The crazy thing is: I'm 33 years old, a wife and the mother of two children. I'm a kindergarten teacher who asks the little guys what they eat for breakfast. I teach them that they need good food to grow nice and big and strong. Now they're saying that I'm anorexic.

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Lexie Age: 27 Compulsive Overeating

I am obese. I am 5'4" and weigh from 190 to 242...depending on the week. As a child, my parents were constantly after me to gain weight. As an adult, people feel the need to encourage me to lose weight.

The biggest problem I have is eating large quantities of food until I am sick. I don't want the food. I'm not hungry and it doesn't taste or feel good. I'm not sure why I do it. I have been told it is "self-medicating" to ease emotional pain.

It has GREATLY affected my relationships with others in that I cannot stand for people to touch me or stand close to me. When they do, I feel like I am so ugly and so dirty that it will "rub off" on them. I also feel like no one really wants to touch me or be around me because I am so disgusting. I punish myself physically for eating...cutting, hitting, and burning myself so that I won't eat again.

I guess part of the problem is that I go for days at a time eating nothing and then eat uncontrollably for a day or two, then eat nothing again. I hate myself. I hate how I look. I cry when I see myself in the mirror. I feel like I can never see exactly what I look like and I am constantly measuring and comparing myself to others to see if they are bigger or smaller.

I cannot eat out with others because I have to go to the restroom to throw up and I am afraid someone will hear me. At work, my boss recently asked if I was sick because she noticed an odor in the bathroom. So now, I have had to find another place to throw up so she won't know. Please excuse the graphic nature. I don't know how else to put it.

I want help. When you're low-income, it's hard to get.