Eating Disorder First-Hand Stories - How to Live with Eating Disorders

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

My older brother had always been my hero, but one night, he cut his wrists. He lived, but it left a very vivid picture in my head. I could just kill myself and not have to worry anymore! I tried overdosing on muscle relaxers, but was only sent to the emergency room. A month later, I, too, cut my wrists. Nothing worked.

I ended up going to a hospital for other people with my problem, depression. But when I was in the hospital, I realized that nobody else had the two problems I had, depression and anorexia. I left the hospital after a week, unchanged. The psychiatrist changed my medication again, to Prozac. At this point, I was probably 75lbs. Three weeks passed, and I was slowly eating more, about a sandwich and a half each day. I pulled my weight up to 90 again. When I weighed myself, I started crying. I relapsed and dropped back down to 80lbs.

I cried all the time. Nothing was helping me and there was no way out. Everything seemed hopeless. A voice in my head constantly monitored what I ate, or even drank.

I returned to the hospital and this time listened to everything, and tried to actually learn what was causing this problem and what I could do to get out of the nightmare I had made for myself.

Now, a few months later, I feel somewhat relieved that most of this is over. I can eat more now and only hear the voice, if I let myself. Knowing that you can eat healthy, and stay thin, makes a big difference. You don't have to starve yourself to be that way.

I weigh 105 lbs. now and I feel happy about it. Every once in awhile, the voice will try to creep back in, but I just ignore it and continue trying to stay healthy.

I'm 17, but it seems like I've been through an awful lot. Thanks for asking me to write. I hope you can use it to help anyone that might have the same problems. They have to know, they're not the only ones, that's for sure!

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Denise Age: 17 Bulimia

It all started as an obsession with diet pills, but they never worked. So I started to starve myself. When I couldn't do that anymore either, that's when I decided that I can eat all I wanted and get "rid" of it. That's bulimia in a nutshell.

It was really easy at first and I had no problem doing it until I got weak and constantly felt sick. Not to mention the sore throat. In the beginning, I was 116 pounds. I'm 5'4". Now I realize that wasn't bad at all. I got down to 98 pounds and I was even more upset when no one had noticed that I had shed a pound.

I was constantly miserable and everyone around me had noticed. I also had an obsession with laxatives. Sounds gross, but it was another way to lose weight.

In my eyes, I think I still look horrible and I will never be perfect. I'm trying my hardest to stop this and slowly I am.

To most girls it sounds so perfect, but it's not. It's disgusting and painful and I would not want anyone to go though what I have been going through for the last few months.

I know it sounds like I am an old woman preaching this to you, but I'm not. I'm 17 years old and I'm really glad that I'm taking control of my problem before it got too serious.

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