When helping a depressed person, here's how families and friends can convince their loved ones to get treatment for depression.

Families and friends often are unsure how to convince their loved ones to see a medical professional. In a compassionate way, explain to the person that you are concerned that he or she is showing symptoms of depression, a treatable medical condition. Often, people with depression feel very relieved to learn that they are suffering from a medical condition. Ask the person to see a medical professional, offer to make an appointment, and go with the person or call the doctor in advance to state the person's symptoms.

Helpful tips
What not to do
When your help is refused
Helping children and teens

Tips on How to Help A Person with Depression

• Show you care. Depressed people feel isolated in their pain and hopelessness. Tell your depressed family member or friend how much you and others care about the person, want the person to feel well, and are willing to help. Listen and sympathize with the person's pain.
• Acknowlege the relationship impact. In a caring way, let the person know that depression affects you and others in the family. Your relationship, including intimacy, household responsibilities, and finances, are all adversely affected when someone is depressed.
• Be informed. Read a brochure, Family Profiles, or a book, or watch a video on depression and share the information with the depressed person. Stress that depression is a treatable, medical condition, like diabetes or heart disease, not a sign of weakness. Assure the person that people with depression do feel better with treatment.
• Use a symptom list. Go through the depression symptom list with the person who is depressed or have the person take a confidential evaluation that will guide him or her toward medical help. Take the symptom list to the appointment for discussion with the medical professional.
• Reach out. Find other people to help you get your loved one into treatment, especially medical and mental health professionals such as your primary care physician or a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker. Think of others to whom the depressed person will listen, such as family members, relatives, teachers, friends, or a member of the clergy, then enlist their help.
• Seek immediate help If at any time your depressed family member or friend talks about death or suicide or may be harmful to you or others, seek immediate help. Contact your doctor, go to your local emergency room, or call 1-800-suicide or 911.

What Not To Do

People with depression are suffering from a medical condition, not a weakness of character. It is important to recognize their limitations.

• Do not dismiss their feelings by saying things like "snap out of it" or "pull yourself together."
• Do not force someone who is depressed to socialize or take on too many activities that can result in failure and increased feelings of worthlessness.
• Do not agree with negative views. Negative thoughts are a symptom of depression. You need to continue to present a realistic picture by expressing hope that the situation will get better.

Here are the best things to say to someone who is depressed.

When A Depressed Person Refuses Your Help

Often when you try to help someone who is depressed, your help is declined or nothing you do seems to help. You end up feeling rejected and discouraged that there is nothing more you can do.

Depressed people may reject your help because they feel they should be able to help themselves, and feel worthless when they can't. Instead, they may withdraw or start an argument in an effort to resolve their difficulties. In addition, people with depression have negative thoughts and feel so hopeless that they do not see recovery as a reality.

Fifty percent of people with bipolar disorder have a lack of insight, so they do not realize they are ill. For example, people with bipolar disorder may believe they are a "high-energy person." This makes family involvement in seeking and managing treatment even more critical.