Why caring for a new baby brings some moms down

Feeling blue when your baby is brand new

Having a baby can be both exhilarating and exhausting. It can bring much joy; it can also challenge you in ways you never expected. Soon after giving birth, many women feel weepy and moody. You may be blessed with a beautiful baby and a loving partner, yet still find yourself crying over things that usually wouldn't bother you.

Within the first two to three weeks postpartum, such symptoms are known as the "baby blues" or "postpartum blues." The blues affect 60 to 80 percent of postpartum women, who often find themselves exhausted, unable to sleep, or feeling trapped or anxious. Your appetite can change (you might eat more or less), or you might feel irritable, nervous, worried about being a mother, or afraid that being a mother will never feel better than it does during this down period. All these feelings are normal during the first couple of weeks after childbirth.

Causes and treatment of the baby blues

Several major rapid changes after birth usually bring on the baby blues: a drop in hormone levels, breast engorgement, and returning home from the hospital. The new sense of responsibility that comes with a baby can feel overwhelming, and the reality of what you have ahead of you really doesn't hit until these first few days at home.

The baby blues are not an illness, and they will go away on their own. No treatment is necessary other than reassurance, support from family and friends, rest, and time. Sleep deprivation can exacerbate the blues, so make an effort to rest whenever you can. Even a ten-minute catnap can leave you feeling refreshed.

When someone you know has the baby blues

Partners, friends, relatives: The best thing you can do is reassure the new mother that many women feel this way after giving birth. She's exhausted, she's unsure of herself, and, if it's her first child, she's never done any of this before. No wonder she feels overwhelmed! Just listen to her. Encourage her to cry if she needs to. Tell her what a wonderful mother you think she's going to be. Help her set limits on her activities. Keep visitors to a minimum. Take phone messages for her. Tell her she does not have to send out thank-you cards now. Make dinner for her. Help her set priorities - things that must be done versus things that can wait. Insist that she rest as much as possible and volunteer to watch the baby while she takes a nap.

Above all, let her know you are there for her, no matter what. That will feel wonderful to her. Give her permission to take care of herself, too. Nurture the nurturer - that's what it's all about.

Baby blues or postpartum depression?

People often confuse the baby blues with postpartum depression (PPD) because they have common symptoms. So how do you know whether you're going through the baby blues or a real depression? If you're in the first couple of postpartum weeks, expect some emotional upheaval. If you have a history of depression, if there's depression in the family, or if symptoms - such as suicidal thoughts or an inability to take care of the baby or yourself - are particularly troublesome, you need treatment. If you continue to feel this way beyond two to three weeks postpartum, you should call your doctor and seek professional support. More about PPD.

next: Depression in Women or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)