Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression Chapter 18 - Good Mood

Written by Julian L. Simon

Now I have realized that it is in me, I see quite clearly what I ought to do; in fact, must do. And when I use such a phrase as that, I need not say that I am not alluding to any external sanction or command. I admit none. I am far more of an individualist than I ever was. Nothing seems to me of the smallest value except what one gets out of oneself. My nature is seeking a fresh mode of self-realization. That is all I am concerned with. And the first thing that I have got to do is to free myself from any possible bitterness of feeling against the world.

Morality does not help me. I am a born antinomian. I am one of those who are made for exceptions, not for laws. But while I see that there is nothing wrong in what one does, I see that there is something wrong in what one becomes. It is well to have learned that...

The fact of my having been a common prisoner of a common jail I must frankly accept, and, curious as it may seem, one of the things I shall have to teach myself is not to be ashamed of it. I must accept it as a punishment, and if one is ashamed of having been punished, one might just as well never have been punished at all. Of course there are many things of which I was convicted that I have not done, but then there are many things of which I was convicted that I had done, and a still greater number of things in my life for which I was never indicted at all. And as the gods are strange, and punish us for what is good and humane in us as much as for what is evil and perverse, I must accept the fact that one is punished for the good as well as for the evil that one does. I have no doubt that it is quite right one should be. It helps one, or should help one, to realize both, and not to be too conceited about either. And if I then am not ashamed of my punishment, as I hope not to be, I shall be able to think, and walk, and live with freedom.(10)

Wilde's story reveals how different values are fundamental for different people. Wilde found that for him the most basic value was the "ultimate realization of the artistic life [which] is simply self-development."(11)

Values and Religion

Values Therapy frequently has connections with religion. This is sometimes problematic from the standpoint of communication, because even the word "religion" alienates many people. Religious experience has a very specific God-orientation for some people, whereas for others it is any experience of the awesome mysteries of life and the universe.

Suggesting as I will that religious values and spiritual (though not supernatural) experience may be the solution for some people may alienate those who are militantly anti-religion. On the other hand, suggesting as I will that rejecting the concept of a historical father-like God may help for others may alienate those who have a traditional Judeo-Christian belief in an active God. But if I can reach and help some sufferers, alienation or no, then I'll have done the best I can and I'll be satisfied.

(Alcoholics Anonymous seems to have little problem with this sort of problem, as mentioned earlier. Its minimum requirement - - that members have faith that there is some power greater than the individual -- seems to be widely acceptable because almost anyone can accept the idea that the "greater" power may simply be the strength and energy of "the group". So perhaps the problem is not grave.)

A religious value, or a value for being a religious person, can be the discovered value in Values Therapy. For a person who discovers the value of being a Christian, the discovery implies believing that God forgives you for all your sins, and you must hand over to God responsibility for both your decisions and your actions. If this is the case with you, as long as you live in such manner as you believe a Christian ought to live, any negative comparison between what you are and what you ought to be is inappropriate. In other words, even if you have low status in the daily world, or if you have been a sinner, you may still feel worthy if you believe as a Christian.

Christianity says that if you love Jesus, Jesus will love you in return--no matter how low you are; this is crucial for the Christian depressive. It means that if one accepts Christian values, one is bound to feel loved in return. This operates to diminish the force of negative self-comparisons, both by making one feel less bad because all are equal in Jesus, and because the feeling of love tends to diminish any sadness.

Believing that Jesus suffered for you--and hence that you should not suffer -- keeps some people out of the clutches of depression. In this way Christianity offers unusual succor to those afflicted by sadness.

For a Jew, a religious value that works against depression is the Jewish commitment to cherish life. A traditional Jew accepts as a religious duty that one must enjoy her or his life, both materially and spiritually. Of course, "cherishing" life does not mean just "fun"; rather it means being constantly aware that life is good and all-important. A Jew is not permitted by religious dictates to be inordinately sad; for example, one is not allowed to mourn more than thirty days, and to do so is to sin.

One must be careful, of course, that the religious "requirement" of enjoying life does not turn into just another "must" that you fail to achieve and therefore leads to additional negative self-comparisons. If you tie yourself into this sort of a knot, then you obviously are better off without this religious commitment. But this is not a black mark against this religious idea; no set of guidelines for living is without its own dangers, just as the kitchen knife that is so useful for cutting food can be the instrument of a self-inflicted injury, accidental or intentional.

In the Epilogue, I describe at length how Values Therapy saved me from depression. The highlights relevant to this particular section are as follows: I first learned to keep depression at bay on the Sabbath, following the Jewish injunction that one must not be sad on the Sabbath. Then I recognized that a more general Jewish value demands that one must not throw away the largest part of one's life in sadness. Then, and perhaps most important, I faced up to the conflict between my depression and my children's future happiness. These discoveries cracked my depression and permitted me to enter into a period (lasting until now) when I am basically unrepressed and even happy (sometimes very happy), though I must continue to fight against depression on a day-to-day basis.