Families of
Schizophrenics
Face Heartache and Pain
(Dec. 1, 2003) - There were no clues, when James "J" Lynn was
growing up, that he would have such a tough adulthood with schizophrenia, said
his mother, K McMinn.
"He was a delightful kid, very popular, witty and smart," she
said. "No one had a better son."
But since his college years, J’s life has deteriorated because of a
mental illness
called schizophrenia. Unlike many with mental illness, he does not respond
well to medication.
McMinn and her family have suffered, too. They know the pain of seeing him
evicted from 17 nursing homes — several more than once.
They suffered through his attempted suicide by jumping 65 feet off a freeway
overpass in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, 1985. J survived with a spinal cord
injury, crushed wrists requiring three surgeries, and the amputation of both
legs at the age of 30.
"He was considering jumping around 5 p.m., and the people in the
California rush hour were yelling at him to jump," McMinn said, with her
voice cracking.
Schizophrenia is caused by a
chemical problem in the brain, and often manifests itself during a life
crisis in late adolescence or young adulthood. The first time, J was gone a
year, and the McMinn’s suffered the distress of not knowing where he was.
"When he returned, J had a totally flat personality. There were no
hugs," McMinn said. "He was a stranger in an imitated body, but he
never came back."
With schizophrenia, he also could not complete everyday tasks, like getting
dressed. Sometimes he’d jump from one conversation subject to another
without making sense, or would clam up and not talk at all. J has also been
verbally abusive to his mother and thrown things at her.
"He is totally out of control. There is no way I can take care of
him," said McMinn, 74.
J has been in and out of Austin and Terrell State Hospitals (in Texas),
getting crisis help. Ironically, the mental hospital at Terrell was built by
Dr. David Richard Wallace, J’s great-great grandfather.
"I am ashamed there is no place for the mentally ill," she said.
"They are on the streets or in jail, if they cannot care for themselves.
There is nothing for them."
Because J was a bright boy, he has learned to be a master manipulator,
McMinn said. "He doesn’t think he needs his medications, so he cheeks
it, because he likes the high of insanity."
J has repeatedly escaped supervised care in his wheelchair, sometimes
hitchhiking with truckers who bought him meals and took him to Dallas.
Helplessly watching all this happen to her son is heartbreaking. "When
my son got sick, I cried and would not talk about it, even with friends,"
McMinn said.
After years of buried emotional pain that was destroying McMinn’s
physical health, a counselor at Austin State Hospital suggested nine years ago
that she go to Al-Anon.
For two months she just listened, then she started to share, she said. Some
at Al-Anon had a child on alcohol or drugs totally out of control which they
try to help but cannot.
"They were non-judgmental and supportive," McMinn said.
"Talking has helped tremendously."
Healthy people in a family often suffer even more than the ill one, said
Marie, an Al-Anon member who asked that her last name be withheld.
"K was not able to talk before because her situation was so
painful," she said. "We gave support and total acceptance, no matter
what she was going through."
McMinn regained her health and became able to talk about her experiences,
making her pain more manageable. Her husband got to see her improvement before
he died in 1997.
J’s problems and McMinn’s caring continue. She still cringes when
she sees the message light flashing on her telephone answering machine, but she
has friends to call for support.
"I try to take care of J, but I don’t know what will happen to
him," said McMinn, 74. "It is one of the hardest things for aging
parents."
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