how to have good sex

Sex Tips for Women:
from Cosmo

Pop His Cork
Try the oral sex technique that I call The Screw. As you're moving up his shaft with your mouth, turn your head a bit from side to side, letting your tongue follow a corkscrew pattern. When you get to the frenulum — that part of the shaft just beneath the head — be sure to lick it for a few seconds before moving all the way up to the top. Then repeat, moving down his shaft. What will drive him wild about this is that you aren't just going up and down — you're also going sideways. It's 3-D!
—Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting It On

Let Go — Loudly!
When you're sexually excited, really express yourself. Let yourself go in whatever way feels most comfortable. Scream your head off, laugh, shout his name — whatever you have the urge to do. If you're embarrassed, just know that you're doing your partner a favor. The more you express your pleasure, the more you make him feel like the stud of the universe. Bonus: Your orgasms will be even more powerful if you really let 'er rip vocally.
—Dr. Susan Block, author of The 10 Commandments of Pleasure: Erotic Keys to a Healthy Sexual Life

Toy With Him
Stock up on some sex toys. Velvet-lined handcuffs can be exciting, and they don't hurt like the metal ones do. Silk blindfolds build a sense of suspense — which can be really titillating. And you can never go wrong with a vibrator. Ask him to buzz it against your clitoris or tell him simply to sit back and watch you handle it. It will feel amazing for you, and he'll be turned on just by seeing you so turned on.
—Dr. Susan Block

Eyes Wide Open
Don't close your eyes during sex. This is a great way to explore more of the emotional side of intercourse. Start by kissing with your eyes open and looking at each other during foreplay. Gradually build up until you can sustain eye contact throughout both of your climaxes. You'll experience your orgasm in a totally different way. It's a revelation.
—Barbara Keesling, author of Discover Your Sensual Potential: A Woman's Guide to Guaranteed Satisfaction

Hot Dog!
Before giving him oral sex, position yourself so you're sitting to the side, almost perpendicular to his penis. Cup your hand around his member, creating a "bun" around his "hot dog." Then kiss the part of his penis that's exposed while breathing hard. Your hand will trap your exhalations and make his member feel superhot. With your other hand, work his testicles. He'll think he has died and gone to heaven.
—Paul Joannides

Tantalizing Turn-Around
Face his legs instead of his face when you're on top. (Hold on to his feet for balance.) He'll get a great view of your backside — a surefire turn-on. And if his erection points out instead of up, this position will feel especially incredible to him.
—Paul Joannides

The Kiss Connection
Share a passionate 10-second kiss every single day. A lot of couples keep having sex but stop really kissing. And that's a shame, because it's such a wonderful, intimate act. So just go up and lay one on him. Instantly, you'll feel passionate instead of platonic. What a rush!
—Ellen Kreidman, author of Light Her Fire: How to Ignite Passion and Excitement in the Women You Love

Bare Boogie
You don't have to have a model-perfect body to have maximum fun in the bedroom. Look at yourself naked in a full-length mirror for five minutes a day and focus on what you love about your body. If this feels awkward, turn on some music and dance naked with your mirror image. By getting used to your unique shape, you'll gain confidence that will naturally spill over into your sex life and make you twice as enticing to your guy.
—Barbara Keesling

Sultry Slo-Mo
To surprise him and build anticipation, try doing the same things you always do in the bedroom, but slow down to one-fourth of your normal speed. You and your guy will have time to really bond, and since you'll be feeling sensation over a longer period of time, both your orgasms will likely be out of this world.
—Barbara Keesling

Don't Wait to Exhale
You can actually use your breath to control your orgasm. With each exhalation, imagine that you're pushing the satisfying sensations throughout your body — instead of just letting them build up below the waist. When you finally let go, you'll feel the orgasm from head to toe.
—Nitya Lacroix, author of Loving Sex: How to Develop and Keep a Loving Relationship

Finger-Food Foreplay
Have a romantic dinner without utensils so you can feed each other. There's something sensual about placing food in your partner's mouth. It's such fun — especially when you serve stuff that's not supposed to be eaten with your hands, like salads or pasta. After a meal like this, serve yourself for dessert.
—Ellen Kreidman

Strut Your Stuff
The next time you go out with your man, wear your sexiest outfit. Go ahead — flirt with strangers and turn some heads. Tease. It's easy to forget you're still attractive to other members of the opposite sex when you're in a committed relationship. But sometimes you have to remind your guy that you're a prize, not an appendage. It really turns most guys on to know they have someone other men want to be with. And it can be a tremendous ego boost for you, too. When you feel sexy, you are sexy. Once you return home from your diva-date, you won't be able to keep your hands off each other.
—Susan Block

Grab and Go
If you're turned on at an inopportune time, act on your feelings. Although it feels a little bit naughty, a quickie will help you stay faithful. People often have affairs solely for the illicit rush from doing something "bad." Quickies allow you to experience all of the having-an-affair thrill with none of the cheating.
—Ellen Kreidman

Jeans Jiggy
Encourage your man to touch you when you have your favorite tight jeans on (and don't let him take them off). His hand can glide over your crotch more easily, and the material will transmit the sensations over a wider area.
—Paul Joannides

Pillow Power
Great sex is all about angles — the angle of his erection and your pelvis determine exactly what hot spots he'll hit and how tightly he'll feel gripped. That's why pillows can be passion's best friend. Try one under his butt while you're on top or supporting your tailbone in the missionary position. Or use a few to prop yourself up when lying on a counter. And don't be afraid to experiment with odd-size cushions, too. You'll be surprised how many new sensations you both experience just by adding a pillow.
—Paul Joannides

Last updated: 8/05

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