Tips For Amazing Sex

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8) Do it in the dark. "Men often say they like to make love with the lights on, and women sometimes find that adds excitement as well. But because so many women have body-image issues, she may feel more open to letting herself go and trying new things in the dark. Rather than feeling as if you're missing something by not being able to see her, enjoy the pleasures that her sense of freedom can bring both of you. And if you want her to feel totally uninhibited, blindfold yourself and let her go wild. You can create a blindfold from anything that's around your bedroom, from your tie or boxers to her silk scarf or tights."

9) Have fun with mirrors. "If she is secure with her body, having sex in front of a mirror or two can be very exciting for both of you. If you don't have a large mirror that's aimed at your bed, you can buy an inexpensive full-length mirror, prop it up against a wall, and have at it on the floor in front of the mirror. This can be much sexier than videotaping, which often creates a fairly unattractive memento of your sexual experience. With mirrors, you can change positions and angles if what you see is not turning you on--it's easy to move around to find an attractive view."

SEXPERT #3

Sex therapist Rebecca Rosenblat writes advice columns and holds seminars under the name Dr. Date.

10) Put her in the driver's seat. "In general, female-dominant positions will make you last longer and her climax faster. They also make it easier for you to use your hands, touching all the places that aren't as accessible when you're on top. If she's a 'breast woman,' stimulating them up to and including the grand finale can create electricity that will knock your socks off."

11) Be smooth. "Rough hands can be the sign of a manly guy who doesn't mind physical labor, but they're not what she wants when you're stimulating her more sensitive zones. For that, make sure your hands are clean and smooth--use moisturizer if you need to. Any roughness, or even minuscule amounts of sweat, can leave her feeling sore."

12) Make the most of what you've got. "Want your girth to feel twice as huge and her to feel twice as tight? Try positions where she has her legs straight up in the air. Want to feel twice as long to her? Try positions where she pulls her knees back toward her chest. On the other hand, if it's so big that she's uncomfortable, take extra time with foreplay. The more excited she is, the easier it is to fit together just right."

SEXPERT #4

Clinical sexologist Patti Britton, Ph.D., has hosted several videos and DVDs.

13) Get her motor running in different ways. "Remember this: Foreplay can be many things. It can be anticipation--knowing that you're going to have sex at a certain time later on can fuel the fire. It can be something that's physical but not overtly sexual, such as stroking her hair. And women tell me that they never get enough kissing. That's what often gets the motor running; it starts the connection between people."

14) Tickle her ears. "Men are more visual, so they often don't realize that women tend to be more auditory--they need to hear things. If you listen to her, and learn how to talk to her, it's not just romantic but sexual as well. For her, there's no greater aphrodisiac than being listened to. It translates into a feeling of being connected, and connectedness is probably the greatest aspect of a woman's ability to engage in sex."

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15) Play with her head. "Fantasy can be an important aspect of sex, but my experience has shown that women have a harder time expressing their sexual fantasies. A great way for men to enter foreplay is to tease out her fantasy side. That might include telling stories or reading a sexy book together. Erotic novels, or the 'softer' side of fantasy, are less threatening than hard-core porn, although some women love that, too. When you're in the zone of sexual energy, everything becomes a part of foreplay."

Next: How to Have An Orgasm (for him and her)

Last updated: 6/03. Last reviewed: 10/05.

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