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Chapter 63 of the book
Self-Help Stuff That Works:
The Trouble With Troublemakers
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WHEN SOMEONE AT WORK talks badly about you behind your back, puts you down,
interferes with your work, makes you mad, or otherwise makes trouble for you,
the natural tendency is to focus on them. You want to get back at them. You
want to talk badly about them behind their back, put them down, make trouble
for them in some way.
But I want you to consider the possibility that returning like for like is a
mistake. Look at the three practical steps below — all of them effective
ways to deal with troublemakers — and notice: None involve talking about,
thinking about, or speaking with the troublemakers themselves, because that
doesn’t work. Here’s what does work:
1. Do your work extremely well. Think of your level of
excellence as a sliding scale, from doing-as-little-as-you-can-do-without-
getting-fired all the way up to doing-your-very-
best-every-second-you-are-at-work. At any given moment, you are somewhere
between those two extremes. Move yourself further up the scale and you will
feel more confident of your position. Doing your work well counteracts the
feelings of insecurity a troublemaker can cause.
2. Keep your integrity level high. Doing anything unethical will
increase the insecurity you feel. Conversely, the more you act with honesty and
fairness, the better you will feel about yourself and about your position at
work.
3. Stay in good communication with everyone else. A common response
to feeling that someone is out to get you is to withdraw. But that’s a big
mistake. The universe of human opinion abhors a vacuum, and if a troublemaker
says something bad about you and the listener hears nothing from you, guess
what? The slanderous information will tend to hold the floor from lack of any
other viewpoint. Your bosses and coworkers may be mature, rational people, but
human emotions still influence their decisions, opinions, and conclusions. Stay
in communication with people — not trying to prove anything, but just
being yourself — and the reality of who you are will help negate any
rumors about you.
DO THESE THREE and the threat from the troublemaker will be minimized. You
can’t really get rid of such an element for good. That’s the trouble
with troublemakers. They are bound to crop up now and then, as inevitably as a
bad storm. If you try to argue with them or fight with them or use their
tactics on them, you will lose. They’ve been at it longer than you.
Do your work to the best of your ability, conduct yourself honorably, and
stay in good communication. Your position will be solid and the storm will pass
over you without so much as a shudder.
Do your work exceptionally well, keep your
integrity level high, and stay in good communication with everyone
else.
Dale
Carnegie, who wrote the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence
People, left a chapter out of his book. Find out what he meant to say but
didn't about people you cannot win over:
The Bad Apples
An extremely important thing to keep in mind is that judging
people will harm you. Learn here how to prevent yourself from making
this all-too-human mistake:
Here Comes the Judge
The art of controlling the meanings you're making is an
important skill to master. It will literally determine the quality of your
life. Read more about it in:
Master the Art of Making
Meaning
Here's a profound and life-changing way to gain the respect
and the trust of others:
As Good As Gold
What if you already knew you ought to change and in what way?
And what if that insight has made no difference so far? Here's how to make your
insights make a difference:
From Hope to Change
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