June 15, 2000 -- 7:43 PM EST

I've been such a poophead the last while with these punky moods and irritability. Part of it is heat, part of it was period stuff, part of it was just me just getting grinchy about all that annoying stuff in my life besides the usual marathon stress. Like ants coming out of the door frames and making me crazy in the kitchen.

Adrith's been feeling the pinch as well. Worries abound. We exchanged some e-mail earlier today talking about some of these feelings. It helped to touch base with her on that and know I'm the only one feeling... weird.

Today, I got the post and I was surprised to see a note from Miss Courtney, who had requested a pledge sheet sometime this month. I don't think she'd mind too much if I copied down what she wrote me. It really made my day:

Dear Catherine.

Hello! Thank you for sending along the pledge forms. I'll try to pass them along to friends I know who will be willing to pledge. I think it's great that you are doing it. I'll try to get it into the mail soon. I hope the weather isn't too discouraging. Your health, of course, should come first.

Be sure to let me know if you do any other runs/walks between now and 2001. I'll be willing to do what I can to help. In some ways, I hope it will inspire me to keep working towards my healthy lifestyle goals. I know it sounds silly, but it's one thing to inspire me.

Anyway, I can go on and on, but I am sure you get enough of this stuff via e-mail. :)

Thanks again for working so hard towards a goal on so many levels. I'll be checking on your progress on both sites. Take care and talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

Courtney

That was so nice! It also was a sort of a smack in the face -- I kind of needed that today.

Ok, so weather stinks.

Ok, so I feel bad sometimes working out because of it.

Ok, so I panic that I won't raise the funds I need to raise and people won't mail in pledges.

Ok, so I worry that I'm not improving my pace time.

Ok, so I worry that my ankle will die.

But I didn't get into this thinking it was going to be a cakewalk. I don't want to do this just for me, but for the charity. I am a solid two months down, 5 1/2 months to go. My biggest goal is to get the charity money, then after that to participate, not win, this at race. I can do that -- those aren't psycho goals here. They are realistic. Challenging, yes. Unrealistic? No.

Paul noticed I was feeling weirded out and he came home today after buying my Dad's Father's Day gift and threw me a bag from Target.

"Gotcha something."

"What?"

"Look and see."

It was one of the Power Puff Girls tapes! How does he know to do that? I believe in serendipity. Great note, now PPG episodes to watch after dinner. How cool is that?!

I know I believe in me, and I know there are people out there helping me, ecouraging me and believing in me too. Not just people I know in real life, but people I've never met face-to-face. They send me good thoughts, notes, link from their websites, make pledges to help sponsor me, call me up on the phone to see how I am, make me tapes for my walkman, listen to my problems, walk with me, etc.

How can I not succeed with this kind of "all over" support?

I may not be saving the world before bedtime or fighting the forces of evil, but I know what I need to be doing. Drinking water, eating right, following the walking schedule, writing letters, and generating funds.

I CAN do this.

Thank you, Adrith, Courtney, Paul and everyone else. I really needed to think about these things today.

~Astrophe