April 13, 2000 -- 2:59 AM EST

You'd think that I'd be more alert since this week's journal is going to my dietitian. Am I more alert? Nooooo. Not with eating. Note keeping, yes, but the eating. HA!

I ate oodles of bread (trigger food) today just because I was too busy with other things and snatching some bread to stave of hunger was easier than giving the kitchen my full attention and making food.

Yeah, it's better than cookies or ice cream. But no, it's not good. Not if I eat my way through a loaf to the exclusion of all other food. And then I wonder why my sodium levels are what they are -- I'm a baked goods abuser!

It's totally a brain thing too, because I can think of at least 5 dishes that take less than 5 minutes to knock together that's more "real" than just naked bread. I don't know why I don't just give myself the 15 minutes. 5 to get it together and 10 to eat it calmly. Aren't I worth 15 minutes? 20? 30?! An HOUR!?

(YES! I AM!)

Exactly what am I doing that's sooooo crucial I can't break for a decent meal? What is so earth shattering that making do with a few slices of bread "just to hold me over til I have time for more" seems reasonable? NOTHING.

If it was earth shattering the planet would be long gone, not enough time to even undo the bread bag tie.

These mental hurdles -- I swear they are harder than the other ones I've had to get through so far. :P

The cool thing is that I can just print and I don't have to deal with their little chart dealie. They said I could use whatever I wanted so long as I covered the major info. Yay! DietWatch to the rescue! I also printed the reports along with the food list. I also made potato salad ahead of time and drug out the canned Amy's soups and put them on top of the microwave in full sight..

So I've got food on standby for tomorrow. Enough of this bread crap.

We finished the second part of It. Guess who the library aide was? Adult Samantha from the X-Files. How funny both actors later went on to do X-Files stuff.

"Hey, It, the spider thing. It's alien isn't it?" I suddenly burst out.

"Yeah, remember in the book it had crashed and landed there way before Derry was even built?"

"That's right! The kids did that smoke room thing in the book and then two of them had the visions and went back in time to see it crash-land."

"Yes, but the whole chunks with the clubhouse stuff isn't in the movie."

Mulder, Scully. Get on it! All your other friends are hanging out in Derry with the alien spider-clown already!

~Astrophe