March 18, 2000 -- 9:55 AM EST

I've got too much on my mind. I need to chill out and relax. My neck is starting to get rashy.

I'm not in a bad mood, I'm just feeling how I normally feel around my period. All slow, and sleepy, and slightly on edge because I could cry at the drop of a hat, and then this lack of control over my feelings makes me angry and irritable.

I'm not a psycho raving lunatic, just tense.

Last night, Paul was so wired and excited about working on his projects that he was starting to make me irritated. All I wanted to do was sit on the futon and read magazines and eventually drop off to sleep right there but he kept popping out of the music room to tell me something else.

Now, normally, I can be supportive and listen to whatever it is he wants to talk about.

Just not when I am in this mood.

I listened the first 3 times. The 4th, I told him I wanted to just chill, and I didn't want to be a wet blanket or dampen his enthusiasm, but he needed to cut me a break.

We've been here many times before -- when one or the other is all wired and the other one is all low key. Sometimes, I'm the one who is being too hyper.

Head skimming. What's in there?

Do I talk about Barbie? Do I talk about boobs? Do I talk about teenagers and body image? Do I talk about sexuality? Do I talk about cookery? Do I talk about bikes? Do I talk about relationships? Do I talk about academia? Do I talk about movies or books? Do I talk about my new neighbors across the street?

I could seriously go for something a little out of the ordinary. Maybe I'll wake Paul up and take him to the museum to see the dinosaur exhibit.

~Astrophe