Emotionally Tired - Dieting Journal

Weight Loss and Dieting chat, forums, news, info

Astrophe's Journal

back to
weight loss
community

send this page
to a friend

February 20, 2000 -- 4:09 PM EST

I have a headache and I feel tired. Emotionally tired. Had a long.... thing.... with Paul this afternoon as a result of the culmination of claustrophobic feelings on his part and annoyance feelings on my part. It has been building up to a crescendo all weekend and in a way I am glad it blew over!

So we had a thing on the bed in the middle of the afternoon involving a lot of tears and paper towels.

But basically I am glad.

We weather these spells out, we get better at talking about it and getting is resolved and we move forward.

He's such a quiet, private person, and he tries too hard to be rational and intelligent when it comes to dealing with emotions he doesn't feel comfortable having or dealing with. Too self conscious.

I am the polar opposite, I lash out and pitch hissies and have freakouts and I'm pretty ok with having emotions I don't necessarily understand at the time I am having them because I figure I will eventually get to a point later where I can look back and go "Oooohhh! So THAT'S what that is all about!"

He gets so hung on not understanding them and trying to categorize them that he gives himself a mental blockage where he can't just feel, and let those things run their course and he can't just categorize and get it all tidied up because there is still more coming.

Sometimes I wish I had a tape recorder in my body. I could flick it on and then record everything that is being said when it's one of the deep meaningful important conversations so later I can go back and transcribe it and then look at it and figure it out.

I guess in my own way I also try to identify and categorize, even if it is afterwards and not at the same time of the happening like Paul tries to do.

I still have a headache, and I still have a lot ot soak in and absorb. More on this later.

~Astrophe