February 7, 2000 -- 11:58 PM EST

If you ever felt stupid at a gym, don't worry. I got that all covered for you!

Stepped on loose grating in the gym locker room and twisted ankle when I first got to gym. Forgot my gym lock so I had to use one of those pay ones after scrounging for a quarter and then tie the key to my shoelaces so I wouldn't lose it. Why do those safety pins have to be so HUGE? If you actually use the safety pin to pin the key to your shirt it leaves this MONSTER hole. I also remembered to bring my 2 CDs but forgot to check the batteries and couldn't listen to anything because they were low. Several machines are out of order so there went my weights for today.

Twisted it again going upstairs for cardio so I cut cardio to 30 minutes rather than 60 min. Started feeling pookey in the ankle and decided to just go home and not push it further. This is that bad ankle I have. After gym I was walking to my car thinking I ought to go home and put the brace on and get the ice pack just in case because I know that once I twist it, it goes downhill from there. Pookey can turn into a sprain with one more fall quite easily.

Right after thinking this I pitched forward and kissed pavement, twisting my ankle for the third and final time in under an hour and scraped my knee to boot. I searched the ground trying to find what made me fall but there was nothing, just me and my ankle weirdness.

Excuse me while I rant and rave.

Freakin' ankle! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I was going to photograph my ugly gym locker room and scare Paul and anyone peeking here with the godawful aqua and hot pink decor but instead I took a cranky picture of me. BLAAAAAAAAH! Paul can take a peek at what the the rest of the inside of the girl's bathrooms and locker rooms look like some other day.

[...]

Last night I dreamt I was wearing a long sleeved, red flannel nightgown with white lace trim at the cuffs and neck. I wore quilted slippers in this flower print. I NEVER wear slippers, and I rarely wear my single flannel nightgown -- which is white, not red. I sleep in boxers and a tank top most of the time. I reminded myself of Mrs. Santa Claus. I was also extremely pregnant and trying to tell Paul to feel my belly because things were moving in there. He wasn't paying me any attention because he was doing some programming for work on his computer.

This baby thing, man. It's invading my dreams now!

It probably happened because I looked up pregnancy and vegan kids in my books as bedtime reading last night and everywhere I read they stress 400 mg of folate plus the right amounts of iron and calcium. I double checked my multivitamin and I am ok on the folate and iron but I started making sure I take the calcium more regularly.

What I would really like to do is either

a) get my PC repaired and get back to using DietWatch

b) look at buying equally sound nutrition and fitness software for my Mac

I need software. I do not have the time nor desire to write all this food junk down and then figure it all out by hand every night. How inefficient! Grrr. I'm trying to find shareware or demos for Mac stuff but everything so far is not exactly cool to use. (Check out TuCows Mac Area.)

I'd love for my PC to be better and just go back to DietWatch since I know that already but man, I am losing patience and I need to be keeping a food journal! (If anyone has a lead on Mac software, please tell me!) Why can't DietWatch hurry up with making the site Mac compatible?

Frustrations mostly today, I guess.

When I woke up this morning I felt like I was 14 instead of 24. I remember waking up in the mornings when I was 14 and feeling totally surreal about my body. Not unhappy, just.... weird. Here I was growing boobage, pubes growing more wiry and darker by the second, periods still being a very new thing to me, changes happening to me. I felt very awed. At the same time it felt sort of sexy and sensual.

Now that I am contemplating this "get pregnant" thing, and learning about changes that will happen to my body if I do, and what I need to do to prepare, it feels the same. Awed that my body can DO that. And it's kind of weird but also kind of sexy and sensual.

I was looking at photos on the Belly Gallery and looking at the changes in other women's bodies. What a cool thing!

I was doing the dishes and I was feeling naughty so when Paul came up to hand me more and kiss me on the neck I said, "You sure you don't want one for my birthday? You are running out of time here, you know."

"Stop that!" he spanked me and walked off to change the blown light bulb in the foyer.

We'd been joking over the weekend that if I got pregnant NOW, I could have a baby for my 25th birthday in late September.

It feels nice to joke again. That weird phase was too weird. Joking feels more normal!

Meanwhile, so much time, so little to do. No, strike that. Reverse it! (Paul wants to be Willy Wonka this Halloween so we've been doing Wonka-isms.)

~Astrophe

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