Appendix (4): Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression

Good Mood

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Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression

Chapter 15

cont.

Avoid Situations That Induce Negative Self-Comparisons

Staying out of situations that force negative self- comparisons upon you is a habit that can help depressives. Arnold K. is an applied scientist who has done work that is innovative but that has mostly failed to catch the interest of his profession. Every time he picked up any one of three particular technical journals he was depressed for a day or two, because the field covered by those journals proceeds with practically no reference to his work though he has researched and published a large quantity of material in that field. Then he built the habit that each time his eye or hand lights on one of those journals, he turns his eye and hand away and re-directs his mind to his family, which is a source of great satisfaction to him. At first he found this hard to do, but after trying it and finding it pleasurable, it got easier and more habitual each time. (But this habit-building has the disadvantage that if he doesn't look at those three journals, he is hampered in contributing anything more to that field, or in trying to keep his past work in that field from disappearing altogether. This is a drawback of some types of habit formation and behavior modification.)

Two similar examples are given by psychoanalyst Rubin:

I had a patient who had been through a devastating love affair and who for a long time diligently avoided films, plays and books which depicted idealized love relationships, having learned that these filled her with self-recriminations which she could not yet control. This does not constitute avoidance of reality or denial of a problem. It simply, but very importantly, provides pain-free time in which to gather strength for constructive purpose.

I remember a period of time during which I felt particularly vulnerable. I studiously avoided news pro- grams that were especially full of horror then because they demoralized me still further. Again, this is not sticking one's head in the sand ostrich-like. It is effecting a block to self-hate, and this or any kind of block, especially of an early and even anticipatory nature, is a definite form of compassion and constructive caring for self.9

Rubin's method is sound, even though his arcane psychoanalytic language and concepts ("self-hate") are not necessary here.

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Writing plays is, of all types of work, the one which most requires that one keep checking the effect of the work on the audience, in the course of the play's being readied for production. Yet such checking the results can bring forth negative self-comparison. Famous playwright William Gibson puts it this way:

I learned...that success is no good and failure is worse - an old wisdom, the work must be done for itself, which in this system is the counsel to "act, but detach from the fruits of action." That is, act without a feedback of conflict over the outcome. But of all the arts the theatre is the most public, it does not exist without an audience, and the will to success is ingrained in its practice. The wooing of the audience is half of the art.10

Study Your Thoughts

Examining your thoughts in an objective fashion, the way you would study someone else's thoughts if you wanted to understand them, can be another powerful device, similar to meditation which we shall talk about below. Watching one's thoughts tends to objectify the process and reduce the sadness attached to the thoughts (if they are negative self-comparisons.)

Prayer

Still another device useful to some is praying, or a prayerful attitude, which may or may not involve belief in a deity. These passages by a Christian minister are illuminating:

When we are melancholy, it is impossible for us to evaluate correctly our personal contributions to our loved ones, our work or to society at large. When we learn to anticipate a bad mood and to accept it philosophically when it comes, when during the period of depression we are wise enough to suspend judgment as to the worth of our achievements, we have made sincere practical advance in managing our troublesome moods.

It helps to speed the waiting process when we force ourselves to assume a fresh viewpoint. This entails shutting the door of our minds to hopeless and despairing thoughts and deliberately to appropriate a confident, cheerful attitude. This is an extremely difficult assignment for the person who allows himself to be carried away by his depressed moods, but through discipline of emotions and patient practice it can be accomplished. By an act of will it becomes possible to turn our minds away from gloom and to center them elsewhere....

Another method involves the practical use of affirmation and prayer. If our prayers have seemed ineffectual in combating our low moods, perhaps we have allowed them to become sporadic or stereotyped and should give them a fresh cutting edge. On awakening in the morning, for example, in the first moments of consciousness, we can begin the day with an affirmation of confidence and hope. Although this may seem trivial, in reality it helps set the emotional tone for the entire day. We may find it helpful to repeat a sentence from the Psalms, such as, "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it," or a line from the Doxology, "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow," or words from a favorite hymn - "Spirit of God, descend upon my heart."...

The habit of starting the day with an affirmation of trust and cheer will tend to lift our spiritual horizons and to turn our thoughts outward, away from the chasm of dejection and toward the Source of power.(12)

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