Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
Chapter 13
Sweetening Your Denominator
Remember that when told that life is hard,
Voltaire asked, "Compared to what?" One's actual state, almost no
matter how bad it is in objective terms, can only cause sadness when you
compare it to some benchmark hypothetical state of affairs, the denominator in
your self-comparisons Mood Ratio.
Whether a self-comparison is positive or
negative depends on the benchmark standard of comparison as well as the
perceived facts of your life. (The latter was discussed at length in Chapter
12.) Many cases of depression can best be attacked by changing the benchmark
state. This chapter discusses how that may be done.
People we consider "normal" tend to
adjust their denominators flexibly in such fashion that they will feel good
about themselves. They seem to do this almost automatically, but in fact they
may give considerable thought to the process, and the change may require a fair
amount of time and pain to accomplish. Nevertheless, non-depressives people do
alter their denominators when necessary for their well-being. In contrast,
depressives--people with a propensity for depression--usually have a tendency
to hang onto their denominators even when afflicted by them.
People are not wholly free to alter
their denominators for the sake of emotional comfort. A woman who has trained
to be a professional tennis player cannot reasonably take much pleasure from
entering local club tournaments and doing well. An even stranger case: a man
who was paralyzed in an accident should not expect to have no unusual
difficulty in maintaining a merry mood. A dog may be unaware of having lost a
leg and hopping peculiarly on three legs, but humans almost surely have a
consciousness of their situations that dogs do not have. One can try to use the
facts as they are; the paraplegic may focus on his courage in meeting his
terrible fate with fortitude. He may even get satisfaction from participating
in wheelchair athletics. But this is not the equivalent of not being
paralyzed.
This is true in one's occupation as well. If
one is striving to make a great scientific discovery but so far without
success, it is almost impossible to maintain total serenity as the results
continue to be negative, and as others are making better progress.
Depressives can use the following systematic
procedure to alter their denominators: (1) First, grasp the importance of the
denominator in the Mood Ratio as the standard of comparison. (2) Then, accept
that your denominator can be changed, and that you can change it,
though of course you may decide not to do so. (3) Next, consider whether you
are willing to change your denominator, that is, whether you are willing
to exert the effort as well as give up any rewards (including the benefits of
depression) that you obtain for yourself from the old denominator.
This procedure for helping you change your
denominator to one that will produce fewer negative self-comparisons is
described in this chapter. Chapter 18 discusses Values Treatment, which is a
more radical procedure for changing your denominators and other aspects of your
self-Comparisons Mood Ratio.
Altering Your Goals and Aspirations
The standard of comparison in a denominator may
be (a) your former state; or (b) the state in which you think you
ought to be; or (c) the condition in which you wish to be; or (d)
what a peer is; or e) it may be a goal that you aspire to achieve.
Because achievement goals and workaday failures are so commonly implicated in
depression in our modern society, let us take them as our examples for
discussion here.
William James vividly described how it feels to
be depressed about such perceived failures:
Failure, the failure! so the world stamps us at
every turn. We strew it with our blunders, our misdeeds, our lost
opportunities, with all the memorials of our inadequacy to our vocation. And
with what a damning emphasis does it then blot us out! No easy fine, no mere
apology or formal expiation, will satisfy the world's demands, but every pound
of flesh exacted is soaked with all its blood. The subtlest forms of suffering
known to man are connected with the poisonous humiliations incidental to these
results.(1)
Aspirations and achievement goals have a
particularly important place in the depressions commonly found in a modern
society because success in one's occupation is so important in the evaluation
of a person by others and by himself. Hence the comparison between, on the one
hand one's actual achievements, and on the other hand the attainments to which
one aspires, frequently results in negative self-ratings and consequent
sadness. Even if an individual has no special reason to compare herself
negatively in this way, but has some generalized need to compare herself
negatively on some dimension, success is the dimension she will probably
pick in a modern, mobile, profession- oriented society.
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