Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
Chapter 12
cont.
With the facts in hand, Nancy can
laugh at her error in judgment, and respond "The hell you say", when
the uninvited thought "I'm a bad mother" floats into her mind.
Getting rid of the Rotten Ratio makes her feel less pain, less sad, and less
depressed.
This process is like scientific
surveys such as a census, which check on casual generalizations such as that
the death rate is going up, or people are getting poorer. If we could form
valid generalizations without a census, we would not need to go to so much
expense and trouble as we do. This is one more example of how a depressive's
difficulty in thinking clearly is little different than our overall human
problem of thinking clearly and arriving at sound conclusions.
Here is an example from Don F., a
reader of an early draft of this book, about an event as he was emerging a from
black depression following a breakup with his wife:
That night I had terrible dreams, all
concerning confronting Linna and her new husband as a couple, coming face to
face with the fact that she prefers some abusive maniac to me. By the time I
got to work I was well on the way to feeling worthless.
Fortunately, that morning your manuscript was
on my desk. As I read I began to see how I've distorted reality. Linna did not
leave me for an abusive man because I am worthless. She became obsessed with an
abusive man because she is a fruitcake. I do not have to feel depressed over
that.
Can You Always Improve Your
Numerator?
Improving your numerator by
assessing your life more realistically is not always a cure. Many of the
negative self- comparisons that make one sad may be factually correct. You may
indeed be in the bottom fifth of your class in high school, doing poorly
relative to most of your classmates. You may really have lost a leg in an
accident. It is no wonder that Beck finds that "It is often difficult for
the patient to accept the idea that his interpretations are incorrect, or at
least inaccurate." To assert that these conditions are distortions of
reality is itself a distortion of reality which may later come home to roost
with more pain. Distortions of reality in one's thinking process should be
attacked with cognitive therapy. But factually-correct unfavorable
self-comparisons that cause sadness should be attacked with one or another of
the other approaches described here.
Indeed, a solid body of research
in recent years 2.1 suggests that depressives are more accurate in their
assessments of the facts concerning their lives than are non-depressives, who
tend to have an optimistic bias. This raises interesting philosophical
questions about the virtue of such propositions as "Know thyself",
and "The unexamined life is not worth living", but we need not pursue
them here.
Cognitive treatment of the
numerator also is not appropriate if the root of your problem is not illogic or
misinformation but is particular values and hopes. For example, Ruth Y. is a
child psychologist who devotes her time and energy to doing research on
depression in children from a totally new angle. For a long time she has had
little success and no professional recognition, which saddens her. A cognitive
therapist might tell her to stop fooling herself, and to turn her energies to
something different. But she replies that even though the chances of success
are small, the benefits to people will be very great if she does succeed. And
if she could look back at age eighty and feel that she had made such a
contribution to people she would feel that her life was well-lived.
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