Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
Chapter 10
cont.
Look first at the numerator. Is the assessment
of her actual situation correct? Is she "always" late, or even
usually late? She asks this question, and writes it in column 4. Now X
realizes that she is very seldom late. She had told herself, "I'm
always late", and then "I never do anything right", because she
has a typical cognitive-distortion habit of depressives, generalizing to
"always" or "everything" bad from just a single bad
instance. She specifies this self-fooling device in the last column of the
table.
Ms. X now can see how she has created a painful
neg-comp unnecessarily. If she has any sense of humor she can laugh at how her
mind plays silly tricks on her -- but tricks that make her depressed -- because
of habits built up through the years, for reasons that are long in her
past.
Notice how the pain of depression is removed by
examining present thoughts. It might be interesting and useful to know
how and why X developed the habit of over-generalizing from a single bad
instance, but it is usually not necessary to have that knowledge.
(Freudian doctrine erred fundamentally in this matter.)
It is worth mentioning that if you are
usually late for meetings, you should re-arrange your life so that you get
there on time. Depressives often fail to do this because, even when they
acknowledge that they could change the situation so as to remove the causal
event, they say they are helpless to change. Often the effort to get things
right seems worse than the pain and sadness that getting it wrong produces; as
long as a person feels this way, the person will continue to be
depressed.
The analysis of X's actual-state numerator may
be sufficient to demolish this painful neg-comp. But perhaps Ms. X is not
easily convinced that she is playing the self-depressing mind game with her
numerator that is shown in the table. People's capacity to fool themselves by
using additional plausible- sounding distorted arguments is almost limitless.
Therefore, let us go on to a second possible way to deal with this neg-comp,
the denominator.
Ms. X agrees that her statement "I never
do anything right" implies that others do better than she. Now she can ask
herself, Do others really usually do things more right than I do? And is
my benchmark comparison really appropriate? Hopefully she will see that this is
not a correct assessment, and she is not on average a poor
performer. Once more, she may come to see how her biased assessment of others
is biased against herself, and hence will let go of the depressing neg-comp.
And perhaps she will see the humor in this, too, which will help even
more.
Table 10-1 shows still a third line of
analysis. Is the dimension of Ms. X being late for meetings important and
appropriate for her to rate herself upon? When she asks herself that question,
she answers "No". Even if she is late for meetings, this does not
mean that she is an incompetent person. And having realized this to be true,
she can focus on other aspects of her life which are more important and on
which she looks good to herself.
The analysis above provides three different
tactics to deal with the neg-comp. Any one of these strategies may be
appropriate and effective for a given circumstance for a given person.
Sometimes, however, using more than one tactic increases your effectiveness in
combating the neg-comp.
There are still other ways to address the
problem Ms. X causes herself by telling herself "I never do anything
right", and we will discuss them later. The important point emphasized now
is writing down the analysis, as a way of forcing your thoughts out into
the open so that you -- perhaps together with a therapist -- can analyze their
logic and their factual support. The rest of this Part II of the book expands
on this advice.
The moment just after awakening in the morning
commonly is the bleakest, blackest of the day, depressives commonly say.
Therefore, this moment is one of the most interesting to observe, just as it is
one of the most challenging to deal with. It takes a bit of time, usually, to
get one's morning thoughts directed onto a non-depressing path. This makes
sense when you realize that when you first awake your thoughts have just been
in the less-consciously-directed sleep state, which tends to be
negatively-directed for depressives.
Can You Do It Alone?
Can you really conquer depression by your own
efforts, or do you need the help of a professional counselor? Many of us
can do it alone, and if you are able to, you will gain great
satisfaction and renewed strength from doing so. And nowadays you can have the
assistance of Kenneth Colby's computer program OVERCOMING DEPRESSION, which
comes with this book and is based on the principles of Self-Comparisons
Analysis set forth in this book; experimental research shows that
computer-based cognitive therapy does as well as therapy with a counselor
(Selmi et. al., 1990), and avoids several possible dangers touched on
below.
In the example above, Ms. X can conduct the
analysis in Table 10-1 by herself. And if she does so, she will gain
considerable satisfaction from it. But a trained therapist can be helpful in
helping X unravel her patterns of thought, and may help her discipline herself
to proceed through the analysis.
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