Appendix (4): Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression

Good Mood

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Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression

Chapter 15

cont.

Change the Subject

A device that can be useful in reducing negative self- comparisons is simply changing the subject of your thinking and internal conversation - from a work failure to family, from war in Africa to a technical question, from a sick child to tennis, or whatever. Do you wonder whether you can do this? Of course you can - just as you can often (but not always) convince someone else to change the subject of conversation. Of course this means that you must be willing at times to turn away from subjects of interest to you when they cause you pain.

Vaillant thus typifies the behavior of the middle-aged men who had made successful psychological adaptations of their circumstances: "If you cannot bear it, forget it." And he noticed that the only two men in his study who did not use this or any "neurotic" devices to avoid painful thoughts were the two men in his sample who described themselves as "chronically depressed."(11)

Young persons often believe that purposely ignoring unpleasant facts is in some way "dishonest" and "untruthful." Certainly it can be dishonest to deny unpleasant facts. And sometimes it is unwise to ignore unpleasant facts if they will cause greater harm unless you deal with them. But for those facts which you cannot alter - a chronic ailment, perhaps, or a low pay level in one's chosen occupation - then there seems neither practical nor moral virtue in keeping oneself constantly aware of the fact and of the negative self-comparison it produces; to do so is simply foolhardy and counterproductive.

Think About Work Instead of About Yourself

One of the best ways of avoiding self-comparisons is by substituting work thoughts, which by their very nature focus you on objects of thought outside yourself, rather than on yourself and comparisons with benchmark counterfactual states. After my first year of terrible depression, my ability to dive down into work for two to four hours every morning dragged me up from permanent occupancy at the bottom of the pit, and gave me some respite from the constant pain of sadness and awareness of worthlessness. Many depressed people do not manage to work, however. This may be because they feel hopeless that the work will amount to anything. But others may not work because they are not aware of the enormous therapeutic possibilities of work.

Composer Liz Swados is another depressive who finds refuge in her work. "Even in her depression, she worked - and found salvation in work."(7)

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Observe that it is almost impossible to sing and be depressed at the same time. (Singing even a blues song removes the blues!) Does this mean we should sing all the time? The prescription "sing" is not a perfect cure for depression for at least two reasons: 1) The prospective singer must be willing to give up the benefits of depression. 2) It takes the energy involved in "will power" to force yourself to start singing when you feel sad, energy that depressed people often lack.

Helping Others Can Help You

Altruism - which implies thinking about other people's welfare instead of your own, and comparing their numerators to their denominators instead of your own - has saved many people from depression. Vaillant8 documents how turning to altruistic activities saved several of the men in the Grant Study from adulthood hells. Perhaps this is a fair translation of what Jesus meant when he said that in order to save one's life one must lose it - that is, by giving it to others.

How may one become altruistic? All I can suggest is that you may decide to do so, either because you come to realize that one of your most important values is to be altruistic, or because you are so anxious to cease being depressed that you are willing to give part of your time and strength and thought to others, or some combination of both.

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