TIPS FOR PRACTICING
(desensitizing to) SHOPPING
by Barbara Bringuel
Here's an example of how desensitization works in
reference to practicing going out to stores.
- To do a grocery store (or any store) practice, start by going to the store
with no plan of buying anything. It's helpful to go with a support person, if
possible.
Just get comfortable being in the store itself. For example, start
by going part way down the right side of the store and see how you feel
physically. If you have no physical reaction (anxiety under a 3 on a scale of
1-10), go a little farther back. If you should have an "uh oh"
physical reaction, retreat (go back to a place where your anxiety level
goes down below a #3) to a place where you feel safe again. That could just be
going to the front of the store to look out the window or going back to your
car or even home. Only you know when/where you feel safe again.
When you retreat, do some full-body muscle tensing (tense the various
muscles in your body tightly and then release them) and also do some deep
abdominal breathing (even pushing your stomach all the way in to get all the
air out). This may take several practices to master. Just go to the
store (assuming you can get to the store with relatively little anxiety) and
try to get comfortable being there.
- Buy one item going through the express line at the easiest (for you) time
of day. That could be 6 a.m. or 9 p.m.. Follow the same steps, proceeding only
if your anxiety is low! The goal is to keep the anxiety
low, NOT to shop!
- Slowly work your way up in the number of items you purchase in the express
lane, then graduate to the regular lane, buying one item and keep working your
way up. There's NO time limit for how long it will take you to accomplish this.
Usually "slower is faster"!
If you wanted to practice going to the dentist, you'd let the
dentist, or his secretary, know that you have an anxiety disorder. Tell them
you'd appreciate it if they'd support you by allowing you to come into the
waiting room before your appointment, just to sit and familiarize yourself with
the office. By doing this, you're free to come and go in the office, retreating
as necessary and then going back into the situation.
Be it a demand situation or a practice situation,
your goal is to NEVER AVOID, and to do everything you need to do, but do it the
EASIEST WAY POSSIBLE.
The one rule that always applies to all practices and
demands (things you "have to do") is, always do
things the very easiest way for you. Support people will often suggest,
with good intention, ways you "should" do things when you practice.
Only you know how you feel and whether or not you can go on, or need to retreat
because you're having a physical reaction. If, for example, the easiest way for
you to go to the dentist is to take your support person clear into the
treatment room to hold your hand, that's how you have to do it!
In a "practice", never distract yourself with
music, talking, headsets, etc.. You need to always be aware of your body so you
know when to retreat (before the anxiety gets too high!). Dr. Bourne's book,
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, has a great anxiety scale in the
chapter, "Coping with Panic Attacks".
Anytime you're doing a true "practice" it's best to
actually get your anxiety down to a 0-1 level, if possible, before going back
into the situation again.
Note to Support People: The phobic is to be in charge of
all the variables when practicing, i.e.
- Where you go to practice
- What you practice
- When/time of day you practice
- When to retreat
HAPPY PRACTICING!
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