|
Can you share with us your story of personal battle with
illnesses, and how you found answers or help? Your story of
pelvic pain may help other women who suffer similar ailments that
seem not to have explanation or logic. Or maybe you want to reach
out and ask for help regarding your own symptoms.
If you have a story about
pelvic pain, please share it with us.
| Name - Nickname - Email Address |
| American Lady - itis1999@hotmail.com | | Comments - I asked my new obgyn to check for STD's and told her repeatedly about my shooting pains, in the vagina towards my back. She told me to come back WHEN the pain was there because she saw nothing wrong. It is not during sex often, but usually when I am sitting around during the day. Any ideas? |
|
| alix - a_netherton@yahoo.com | | Comments - I have had pelvic pain (sometimes vaginal and sometimes anal) since mid January of this year (it's now september). I have the pain all the time, but its severity varies. Sometimes it is so bad I want to kill myself. The gynocolegists can find nothing wrong with me; apparently my chronic pain problem is the result of years of sexual abuse by my grandfather. I see a therapist for this but the results have been slow and minimal. Does anyone know an effective way to get rid of this? |
|
| Jenni - Jen_Giraffe@GiraffeLover.com | | Comments - I am a 24 year old childhood sexual abuse survivor suffering from unexplained pelvic and vaginal pain. My doctor and gynecologist have tested for STD's and after every pelvic exam, I hear the same thing..."well, it looks like everything is just fine, you're completely healthy." If I am completely healthy, why am I in pain all the time? If anyone suffers from a smiliar problem, please let me know. Sometimes I do feel like this is all just in my head, but I know my physical pain is real. Any suggestions on what I can do? |
|
| Annie - Ladyedu@hotmail.com | | Comments - I am three and one half years learning to live with chronic pelvic pain. I am writing to share my experience, strength and hope. At two very dark times during this journey I wrote to Annie. She answered me with two loving messages of support that I printed out and read and read and read. Annie, your letters were an inspiration. I was so angry at God and you were very helpful!
Pelvic pain is just beginning to be discussed among doctors. If you have a doctor that doesn't believe you....get out the phone book,call offices of gyn and specifically ask if the Dr. treats pelvic pain?
Ask to speak to a nurse if they can't answer or you feel they don't really know. My experience is that this is just the beginning of advocating for yourself. You will also need to educate yourself. On line there is an excellent site PelvicPainSociety.com. THese kinds of appts. used to freak me out. I would bring a friend and a list of info/questions about the pain, when it occurs, period/ovulation/during sex/when you need to poop. AS a survivor, I meditate to leave little Annie at home playing. She doesn't belong at adult appointments. I am frank with Dr's and nurses that I have a history of abuse and become highly anxious. If I become upset please know that I am ok and need to pause and feel safe. I have had all positive supportive experiences with one exception. I am teaching them. My Dr.'s tell me that women do not tell them about sexual abuse yet they know many of their patients are survivors. If we are not honest how can they practice in a way that is empowering and not scarey...
Back to pain. Endometriosis can be in little patches throughout the pelvic cavity. Sex was painful in the back of my vagina. I had 8 spots...My ovary was fused to my fallopian tube on my left side. A laporoscopy is the only way to truly see what is happening. I was not interested in the Lupron treatment because of the hot flashes and depression that could be triggered. THe surgery and healing and pain triggered memories of what my body felt like (sore) after being abused. I was having panic attacks waiting for surgery. Being drugged and having something done to my body was a re-enactment for me. I was chanting that safe hands were going to help me. My doctor reassured me many times that he would not let anything happen and I would be safe. He also left a message on my voice mail that I could replay over and over to reassure myself. It helped alot. I also had a script for the recovery nurse to tell me where I was, what year, etc... I made a plate of "safe hands" for my Dr as a thank you. I know I healed trust and that there are good men out there. He source may not be where the pain is felt.
My pain continued. Some of the endo was on the sacral nerve area. I tried accupressure, acupuncture, biofeedback, and finally got an appt. at the pain clinic. They perscribed a long lasting pain patch (Duragesic) with morphine for break through. After 6 months, the nervous system begins to ready daily pain in the body as a chronic state.
10 months later, I tried to get pregnant and went to an infertiltiy specialist. I at least wanted to try. Another story for another time.
During this time I ended up in the er with migraines on 4 occasions, two severe pain attacks from ovary cysts...and the pain continued. My belly was so sore I could not wear anything the least bit pressuring. I was very tired and discouraged. I opted for the hysterectomy. I also had a presacral neurectomy (cutting some nerves to intervene with pain.) The pain did not cease. During the surgery they found swollen pelvic vains all over my uterus and in the cavity. I was treated 4 months later for more veins with an embolism procedure.
It has been almost two years since that surgery.
I continue to have pain. I am having success with TENS unit, pain meds, SSRI for pain and depression. With the pain comes depression.
The Pain Cure has some wonderful information about how all that works.
In the last 6 months, I worked with a physical therapist. She helped immensely. All the muscles in my pelvic floor, and back/front were in spasm. Some vaginal accupressure (that I could do at home), and exercise has had a huge impact on pain relief and energy.
What I now know is that I was storing an incredible amount of self-loathing and grief in my pelvic area. All of those feelings had to be felt and worked with. I wanted a child so badly because I didn't have a family and I needed someone to love me so I could love myself. (Wrong order of love). THe endo was me 'eating at myself', the veins were the weeping and grief. Spiritually, I had to change my idea of God. He is not Santa Claus. Nature happens. I needed that relationship to heal all of this.
There is so much more I could talk about related to pelvic pain. I think this is too long to read yet pelvic pain cannot be healed with a pill. It is multifaceted. Sometimes it is simple, sometimes not. My case is not simple and not that unusual either, especially for a survivor.
Feel free to write to me. I do have lots of exper. I am willing to share that I learned on my own. Warmly, Annie
|
|
| Mandy - mforssberg@hotmail.com | | Comments - I don't know that my pain is related to the sexual abuse I suffered, but I've wondered lately if there is a connection, because the doctors can't find anything wrong with me. I can definitely say it is my right ovary. Sometimes the pain isn't too bad, just annoying. Other times my activities are severely limited. It can be a dull ache or a sharp pain. I had an ultrasound done recently and nothing out of the ordinary showed up. When I had my annual pap recently, the doctor felt each ovary. When she was checking my left ovary, I didn't even feel it. When she touched my right ovary, I nearly cried, the pain was so intense. And yet, everything has checked out. Any ideas, please share. |
|
| Aimee - aimeeb61@earthlink.net | | Comments - Believe in your intuition when it comes to doctors--or anyone else for that matter. I recently went to a GYN I had seen about 10 years ago because of extreme pelvic pain and a host of other symptoms. I was told by him, and another doctor I saw in the emergency room because I couldn't wait (it took a month to get in for an appointment with my GYN), as well as someone else that I most likely had endometriosis. I kept having little pangs of misgivings because I could never get any straight answers from my GYN about his experience dealing w/ endo patients and laparoscopies. I was in so much pain I finally just told him to go ahead with the surgery only to regret it afterwords--I brushed my misgivings off thinking they were just nerves because I had never had invasive surgery before. I mistook his white coat for a white hat! Two weeks after the surgery I finally got in for a postop only to have my GYN skim over the fact that he found a spot on my left ovary (all my pain was on the right), then launch into a long speel about how I had some deep seated psychological problem and needed to get counseling (I had just recently admitted to him that I was abused as a child) then seemed really embarassed and uncomfortable when I told him I already had (and am). The only tests he did before coming to this revelation about my mental health was an ultrasound, a laparoscopy, and the doctor in the ER had done some general blood work--no hormone tests, thyroid tests, etc. and never even really spoke to me in depth about either the abuse or most of the symptoms I was having. I was so angry and hurt I couldn't say anything--I just left the office--and will never go to that GYN again. I finally found a family practice doctor who listens to me and and takes my concerns seriously. I don't know how things are going to turn out but I can honestly say I will work hard from now on to not brush off my instincts when they try to get my attention. Most of the people I have known over the years who have been abused as children are hypervigilant--they had to be to survive. Listen to that voice that tells you to watch out--it's had lots of practice and mine has seldom let me down...when I listened. |
|
| Adelle - HeartsInPieces@hotmail.com | | Comments - I have been having very sharp shooting pains on the left side of my vagina. The first time it got really bad I went to the emergency room and they told me that my fallopian tubes were thought to be inflamed and they prescribed me some antibiotics. I went to my gyn. and she told me that it was just period pains and sent me home. If it was just from my period, why had I been having them for 2 months prior? These pains are so severe that I'll be fine one second and drop to the floor the next in agony. The pains only last a couple of seconds each, but when you get them several times a day it's terrible. If anyone has had the same problem or knows what it is please write me so I'll know I'm not insane. |
|
| Gentle Warrior - Gentlewarrior69@Yahoo.com | | Comments - I have lived with vaginal pain for as long as I can remember. Before I had full-blown memories of my experience of childhood sexual abuse, I was running to the doctor with complaints. The doctors never found anything physically wrong with me. I now know that my pains are body memories. I try and respect what my body is telling me. I am likely to have vaginal pain after therapy and when I am triggered in other ways. |
|
| Kimberly - Doda356@msn.com | | Comments - Whoa! This is very interesting. I suffered horrendous pain since getting my period at age twelve. I was raped at the age of nine. Finally after years of pain my mom took me to a Gyn. I was seventeen, and they diagnosed me with endometriosis. They had to remove my ovary at this time. For years the pain continued. Thanks to the laser being developed I had some help. I wound up at the fertility specialist. I was full of adhesions due to the two previous surgeries. I went through countless laperoscopies, and two more laparotomies. It took four years, and I was very blessed to have a biological daughter. Not long after her birth I was back in the same boat. I had a hysterectomy at the age of thirty-five. It did cross my mind when I had read at one time that girls who have sex very young seem to be more susceptible to this. This is an interesting connection. If anyone would like to talk or has any questions concerning this matter I would try to help. I literally had been in Doctor's offices half of my adult life. Best wishes to everyone here. I pray for your health. |
|
| mimi - thebizymomx4@aol.com | | Comments - I am having pelvic pain ...I had a hysterectomy in 2002 and starting last may as I integrated the last of my alters...I started noticing the pain it isn't always the same I kept thinking it was bladder problems... been checked and rechecked and at DR today my family DR who is familure with my sexual abuse and DID ///she mention chronic pelvic pain... but not what we do about it. I have had pain for a long time at different times in life but it wasn't me having to feel it now that I jhave been totally integrated it is MY pain ouch...LOL anyway I have experienced mostly bladder stuff like a baby dancing on my bladder overfull bladder ...but one of the feelings I have always had as a fear /excitment thing like being left in a store as a kid/ being left alone with my abuser... it feels like i almost gotta pee...wow just now making tHAT connection ...Anyway i also have the vaginal shooting pains...and lower back pain shooting in my back-hip pain it isn't always the same ...so that makes it hard to track too. Ok thanks for listening...Mimi |
|
| KimberleeAnne - Warmblueocean@cox.net | | Comments - I suppose my pain is from my abuse...that i have knowledge of but no memeory. Thankfully my brother filled me in the horrible abuse we had suffered from the hands of our parents and others. I guess its memories that i do not fully have yet and pray i never will. I am too scared of being drugged again and proded around on down there, that scareio terrrifies me, they said i am fine and asked if i was sexually abused. Actually was suprised that someone even asked, for this pain has been around for as long as i could remember, way before i ever knew i was a victim of such severe abuse. At least now i know i am not alone here. Once when i tried to hypotize myself to remember the abuse, while sitting on a massage mat, i had such horrible pain that i had to call the gyn on call, she was like...your be fine, take an pill for it, i was in screaming pain and was very shooken up...twenty minutes later i was fine. I still get the shooting stabbing pains in my vagina and rectumn, and no i won't be trying to remember anything ever again. |
|
| KimberleeAnne - Warmblueocean@cox.net | | Comments - I suppose my pain is from my abuse...that i have knowledge of but no memeory. Thankfully my brother filled me in the horrible abuse we had suffered from the hands of our parents and others. I guess its memories that i do not fully have yet and pray i never will. I am too scared of being drugged again and proded around on down there, that scareio terrrifies me, they said i am fine and asked if i was sexually abused. Actually was suprised that someone even asked, for this pain has been around for as long as i could remember, way before i ever knew i was a victim of such severe abuse. At least now i know i am not alone here. Once when i tried to hypotize myself to remember the abuse, while sitting on a massage mat, i had such horrible pain that i had to call the gyn on call, she was like...your be fine, take an pill for it, i was in screaming pain and was very shooken up...twenty minutes later i was fine. I still get the shooting stabbing pains in my vagina and rectumn, and no i won't be trying to remember anything ever again. |
|
| Jennifer - dspwf05@yahoo.com | | Comments - I am a 28 year old wife and mother. I was sexually assaulted three times in my life by three different male relatives for long periods of time. About a year and half ago I had a complete hysterectomy due to cronic pelvic pain that the doctors could not explain. besides having vericose vains in my
uterus from giving birth to my son almost eight years ago there seemed to be nothing that could explain the severe pain I was having. I had been through almost all test and procedures and was put on disability for the pain. when my doctor gave me the option for the hysterectomy I was very happy and without much consideration said yes. I have been without pain for over a year and half, but after reading this website I am wondering if the pain was caused by past sexual abuse. I hope that women read that article and try to see if that is the case because i will never know if is was the abuse or something unexplainable. after the surgery they did a biopsy and could not find anything to explain the severe pain. I am now twenty eight and can no longer have any more children. |
|
| Leah - hcstolendreams@aol.com | | Comments - I had extreme pain after being raped a little over 3 years ago. I continually had pap smears that came up as abnormal and nobody knew why. Then, it turned out that my abnormal paps were due to cervical cancer because I contracted HPV from at least one of the men who assaulted. It is so important to press the doctors for answers as to the medical issues that can and do arise from rape. I had to have a procedure done to scrape and burn the inside of my uterus to get rid of it and because of that I may not be able to have children, once I am ready. I urge any woman who has been raped to report it and seek medical attention immediately and counseling. Counseling has helped me come a very long way, I am now able to be in small crowds, very small and be quasi comfortable. Progress happens, but it takes time. Thank you and be careful, take care of yourself first, it is worth it! |
|
| Clover - pure_trinta@hotmail.com | | Comments - This is the first time that I've read about abuse causing long lasting pain in the body. Before I didn't quite know what to think. Since I first started having physical relationships, I would get intense pain in my pelvic area whenever things got sexual. Sometimes the pain would come on with a kiss. I never knew what was wrong with me and now I think I do. I was molested by my grandfather when I was little, and have only had a handful of serious relationships since. I'm recently divorced from a man that raped and hurt me, along with alot of mental abuse that I didnt even realise was happening. In the two major relationships in my life both people betrayed my trust and have been both physically and sexually abusive. I kinda thought when the pain came that it was the goddess' way of saying, hey, you're about to be stupid don't let anyone touch you. Now I'm just hoping to find a way to stop it from occuring and hopefully move on from the past. |
|
annie's corner | survivors-female
| survivors-male | parents
corner
partners-friends
|
