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Can you share with us your story of personal battle with
illnesses, and how you found answers or help? Your story of
fibromyalgia may help other women who suffer similar ailments that
seem not to have explanation or logic. Or maybe you want to reach
out and ask for help regarding your own symptoms.
If you have a story about
fibromyalgia, please share it with us.
| Name - Nickname - Email Address |
| Marilyn Edwards - catsmeow_68933@yahoo.com | | Comments - This is not exactly a story; more a request for advice.
In April of 2000, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Those of you who have this disease know that there is no known cause and no known cure.
I am convinced that mine is due to over 20 years of chronic sleep deprivation. I am married to a man who continually "drags his feet" in seeking gainful employment. We have been married 45 years, and I have been the primary wage earner for more than half that time. I worked one full time job, one or more part time jobs, and carried 12 or more units of graduate work three different times, maintaining a GPA of 3.5 or better.
"Harry" (not his real name) worked for approximately 14 years for a nonprofit religious agency that went "belly up." Since that time, he has repeatedly refused to follow through on job leads, even when I feed them to him. (I haven't even done that since the beginning of the year).
Harry is worthless as far as household chores are concerned. Almost every day when I come home from work, I find him watching television. When our older daughter came to visit last Christmas, he hogged the only bathroom so no one else could use it. He is consistently rude with others--I have seen him push his way into lines numerous times (particularly if there is free food involved). There is no way for both of us to be right, especially on religious issues. If Harry doesn't agree with me, he will tell me I am being "unscriptural." This hurts, and I have told him so.
We have been separated several times over these issues, the last time in April through May of 2001. We went to a Christian counselor at that time, and reconciled shortly thereafter. However, things don't seem to be much better. The first week that we were back together, we went to pick mulberries at the local fairgrounds. Harry wasn't happy with my picking method. There were several mulberries in a bunch, and I wasn't picking the right ones. When I asked him to physically show me the ones he wanted, he refused to do so. I finally walked off, with him yelling at me. Needless to say, I won't go berry picking with him again.
Last Saturday, I "drowned" my car in a local puddle that he insisted I ford in order to deliver our newspaper route. I had hoped that he would agree to take the route in the first place, but that didn't work. He couldn't understand why I was so upset over the situation, but finally agreed to take over the route himself and use his car. This, of course, hasn't happened. We're using his car, but he still expects me to drive it and help him with delivery.
My fibromyalgia seems to get much worse when Harry and I are together. I had a really severe flare up after our reconciliation, and a milder attack on Saturday. Am I jeopardizing my emotional and physical health by remaining in the situation?
For others involved in similar situations -- if you decide to leave, watch out! You may be stuck with paying spousal support if you have been the primary wage earner for any length of time. I have finally found a lawyer here in Nebraska who says he can get me a divorce without my having to pay this support. Better yet, his fee is only $500. So far, I haven't had $500 to pay him, as I'm trying to pay off past debts.
Enough of that for now. I am open to any and all suggestions. I would also like to hear from anyone who has remained in a similar situation and made it work. |
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