Oct. 1990 - Jan 1993

**Just a note here: on top of everything else, my dad was taken hostage by Saddam Hussein. So here I was, trying to deal with being without a job, very pregnant, and my dad was in the hands of a madman. He was released relatively unharmed right before Christmas.

I decided to stay home with the kids for awhile. My daughter was born in January 1991, and we lived off my severance pay and my part of the company profit-sharing plan. In April, he finally got a job. Things seemed to be going along okay, with me at home and he was working. I was the Girl Scout leader for my daughter's troop, and we seemed to be "normal." His mother moved in with us again, and his brother too (that didn't last too long, thank goodness - his brother moved on. His mom stayed with us, though.). My mother-in-law would help me with the babies and that was good. But with two women in one house, eventually tempers started flaring and patience wore thin. So I decided to go BACK to work.

I found a job as a substitute at the nearby school district where my oldest daughter was in first grade. I suddenly discovered that I absolutely loved to teach! I toyed with the idea of going back to school, but when I approached him with it, I was shot down. He would say, "I don't think you need to go to school. It's a waste of money." So I put it off.

The teachers at the school, however, encouraged me to look into college. They didn't know the situation at home. So what I did was actually apply for, and get accepted into, the four-year college there! Two days a week, when he thought I was working, I was really in school. Later, my financial aid fell through, so I had to quit.

But once I'd tasted it, boy did I ever want more! I told him outright that I was going, whether he liked it or not. Of course, that started many arguments. What I didn't know was that I had also started on my road to freedom....

top | onto Chapter 5 | Chapters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

home | my story | abusive behaviors | turning the tables | do you say...
share your story | books | family-friends | send page to friend